Should Christians try to Rescue the Perishing?

I grew up singing an old hymn that went like this: 

Rescue the perishing
Care for the dyning
Jesus is merciful
Jesus will save!

It sounds wonderful but it is quite confused. It says first off that we should "Rescue the perishing and Care for the dying" but ends up with the promise that "Jesus will save". Now which is it? Do we save the perishing and dying or does Jesus do it?

This kind of lyrics along with a preaching style that calls for church members to  serve the poor, evangelize the world, raise kids so they will all be saved and obedient, etc pitched side-by-side with the idea that we are saved by grace and that we cannot force anyone to do anything sets up an impossible Catch 22 for pious Christians.

Catch 22 communication patterns by persons in authority leave members with increased anxiety, frustration and anger. It is a factory for Fight/Flight/Freeze emotions.  In Grad School it was called the main cause of mental illness. (That may not be true but it certainly is damaging. to relationship with God, self and others.)

As we look at the Reactivity Charts above they remind us how anxious families tend to balance out by producing opposite Reactions to additional stresses.  The Reactive Pleaser tries to get his/her siblings to comply with the rules and expected roles. However, that is balanced by  Reactive sibling that Challenges the Pleaser when he/she acts in a Parental or Authoritative Role.

Many of us who go into Preaching, Counseling, Medicine, Nursing, Wellness, Recovery and the Military or Para-Military are Reactively trying to get Challengers to Conform to the Rules and Roles. This is why many Prevention programs like Dare and Anti-Porn Crusades are loved by people in authority but hated by Challengers. They not only fail to convince drug users to stop, it can stimulate them to do more drugs and yet the conservatives want to give them more and more money.

We compulsively try to Rescue the Perishing whether they want to be Rescued or not. As Winston Churchill said of an acquaintance, "Lady ______ loves saving people so much she will push people into the lake just so she can save them." We need to Rescue the Perishing as much as the Perishing need to be Rescued. In Addictions Recovery it is called being Codependent.

It is also why so many Pleasers fail to show Empathy, and Mercy toward those who fail and why the tend to like legalistic preaching, harsh ads on TV and church programs that preach what they consider "Tough Love". Think of most advertisements and programs for losing weight. Do they seem harsh or gracious?

Think back to the man who had two sons. What roles were the sons caught in? How did each show his Reactivity toward authority? Which had the most peace?

All out books and videos try to use this information to train people how to escape the Reactivity Traps. The books on Breaking Free and Family are focused on these issues. Are you ready to look at the roles in your family tree?

The Golden Rule says, "Do for others the same kinds of things you would want them to do for you."

Not the Lead Rule that says, "Do for others what they need to do for themselves."