Types of Stinking Thinking

I am in the business of helping people discover and live an abundant life. That is what Jesus Christ promised but so many have not been able to find the abundance that He came to earth to offer us.

For decades I have had a passionate desire to help churches become healing-growth communities where we practice the "Love of God and neighbor as our selves." There are not many. One of my favorites is "The Dwelling Place" in Loveland, Ohio where Rich Femia Pastors. It is a small, intimate, mutually serving group of people who really love to worship, share and help each other.

But let me get on to my topic, "Stinking Thinking!" This is the type of thinking that impedes the abundant life. Unfortunately, it is rampant among Christians. One of the main reasons so many are happy at Dwelling Place is because they are dwelling in God and His truth not the mis-beliefs of the world, the flesh and the devil.

Here are three examples of Stinking Thinking.

Filtering: Take the negative details and magnify them and filter out all positive aspects of a situation.

Polarized Thinking: Things are black or white, good or bad. You have to be perfect or you're a failure. There is no middle ground, it's "all or nothing."

Over generalization: Coming to a general conclusion based on a single incident or piece of evidence. If something bad happens once, you expect it to happen over and over again.

If you want to be miserable, just start thinking like this. If they are not enough, come back when I add more.

Gary Sweeten

New Life for Newton and Gary

I can identify with Isaac Newton about whom I posted last. He did what A.A. calls a "fearless moral inventory" and developed a big list of things he did that were sinful. Thankfully, Jesus gave us a way to muddle through sin, guilt and shame and come out victorious. What do you think it is?




1. Try harder___
2. Sin less_____
3. Pledge never to rebel again____
4. Get angry with myself_____
5. Fast and pray_____
6. Read the Bible more_____
7. Go to worship services more often _____
8. Name you favorite_______

Read James 5:15 and 16. It is simple but not easy. It describes the role of the church fellowship.

Want to learn how to live in peace?

Spiritual Giants Must also Repent

Isaac Newton was one of the most brilliant scientists in history. He was also a committed Christian. However, young Isaac, like the rest of us, had trouble with his heart. It was filled with sins of rebellion, anger, vengeance and bitterness. The list below shows his condition before God at age 19. I would have loved to see what he wrote at age 50 or 60.

Old Isaac Newton’s List of Sins by Maria Popova

BEFORE WHITSUNDAY 1662

Using the word (God) openly

Eating an apple at Thy house

Making a feather while on Thy day

Denying that I made it

Making a mousetrap on Thy day

Contriving of the chimes on Thy day

Squirting water on Thy day

Making pies on Sunday night

Swimming in a kimnel on Thy day

Putting a pin in Iohn Keys hat on Thy day to pick him

Carelessly hearing and committing many sermons

Refusing to go to the close at my mothers command

Threatning my father and mother Smith to burne them and the house over them

Wishing death and hoping it to some

Striking many

Having uncleane thoughts words and actions and dreamese

Stealing cherry cobs from Eduard Storer

Denying that I did so

Denying a crossbow to my mother and grandmother though I knew of it

Setting my heart on money learning pleasure more than Thee

A relapse

A relapse

I love the last two items!

Gary Sweeten

Stress Begone

The high school from which I graduated, Mt. Vernon, Illinois, many decades ago has worked to keep in touch with each other over the years. The internet has allowed us to maintain many good relationships. At our ages it also means grieving the losses of family, friends and pets. Yes, I said pets. Let's admit that some of our best relationships have come from loving pet so when we lose them we grieve.

Some of my favorite churches have a strong desire to be a community of love and healing for us when we grieve. Unfortunately the goal can be derailed by the stress of grief. As I look at the past few years and months of some churches history I see a very high number of losses that are effecting the mental, relational and spiritual health of each person and family and the church family. Trust, peace and unity are usually the first casualties of this warfare. This is the “collateral damage” that comes from death, loss of members, family dysfunctions and disappointing events.

Research indicates that anxious stress can weaken our immune system and allow germs and viruses that are otherwise dormant to cause symptoms and sicknesses. Researchers made a list for life change events and gave each event a stress number.

Below are a number of normal life-change events. Place a circle around the numbers in the mean value column for each of those events that have happened to you during the last 12 months. The total number will be explained below. Holmes & Rahe (1967) Journal of Psychosomatic Research, 11:213-219. My last post mentioned that joy and happiness are strongly correlated with having good relationships. However, the deeper the relationship[s, the deeper the grief when the relationship ends.

After looking over the following list make you own list and figure up the points.

1. Death of spouse 100
2. Divorce 73
3. Marital separation 65
4. Detention in jail or other institution 63
5. Death of a close family member 63
6. Major personal injury or illness 53
7. Marriage 50
8. Being fired from work 47
9. Marital reconciliation 45
10. Retirement 45
11. Major change in the health or behavior of family member 44
12. Pregnancy of spouse/partner 40
13. Sexual difficulties 39
14. Gaining a new family member (through birth, adoption etc) 39
15. Major business readjustment (merger, reorganization, etc) 35
16. Major change in financial state (a lot worse off or a lot better off) 37
17. Death of a close friend 37
18. Changing to a different type of work 36
19. Major change in the number of arguments with spouse (a lot more or less) 35
20. Taking on a significant (to you) mortgage 31
21. Foreclosure on a mortgage or loan 30
22. Major change in responsibilities at work (promotion, demotion, transfer) 29
23. Son or daughter leaving home (marriage, attending college, etc) 29
24. In-law troubles 29
25. Outstanding personal achievement 28
26. Partner beginning or ceasing work outside the home 26
27. Beginning or ceasing formal schooling 25
28. Major change in living conditions (building a new home, remodeling) 25
29. Revision of personal habits (dress, manners, association etc) 25
30. Troubles with the boss 23
31. Change in residence 20
32. Changing to a new school 19
33. Major change in usual type and/or amount of recreation 19
34. Major change in church or spiritual activities (a lot more or less than usual) 19
35. Major change in social activities (clubs, dancing, movies, visiting, etc) 18
36. Taking on a small mortgage or loan (purchasing a car, TV, freezer, etc) 17
37. Major change in sleeping habits (lot more or a lot less sleep, or change) 16
38. Major change in number of family get togethers (a lot more or a lot less) 15
39. Major change in eating habits (a lot more or a lot less food intake) 15
40. Holiday or vacation 13
41. Christmas or other major holiday celebration 12
42. Minor violations of the law (traffic tickets, jaywalking, etc) 11

Add the circled items to obtain your score

Stressful events affect us body and soul and their effects last for months or even years. The trauma that resulted from 911 were immediate and long term. The greatest effects after the bombing of Oklahoma City were noticed nine months following the blast when depression, suicide, alcohol related problems and family conflicts were the highest. Stress events are similar to throwing a rock into a pool of water making waves that slap up on the shore long after the initial event has passed.

According to the Holmes-Rahe statistical prediction model, a score of 150 or less means a relatively low amount of life change and a low susceptibility (about 30% probability) to stress-related illness within two years.

A score of 151 to 299 implies a 50% probability of a stress related illness. A score of 300 or above implies an 80% probability of experiencing a negative health change.

These predictions are not definite. What produces a change in health status is an interaction of many things such as how significant those life events are to you, your personal capacity to cope with change, and the available support through family, work and friends. However, completing the inventory can give you some insight into the STRESSORS that are potentially dangerous to your health and well-being.

One of the key points to remember is that stress makes us more susceptible to infections and communicable diseases. In fact, many people who get sick during an epidemic are not infected with the virus but have heart attacks, strokes, family disputes, back problems, etc. Although we may not see physical illness increase there is no doubt that mental, relational, organizational and spiritual dis-ease is a result of trauma.

Go to my web page for materials and video tapes on successfully dealing with stress.

The Key To Happpiness

Have you ever wondered what leads to happiness? I related a story recently about a very wealthy man who was on his death bed and received a visit from an old friend. The sick man lay quietly in the bed with tubes in and out of his face and monitors showing every breath and heart beat.

When the visitor sat down beside the bed, the wealthy man looked up and noted he was sad because he had recently lost several million dollars in the stock market. Money made him happy, or so it seems. Recent research indicates a different story. Things do no satisfy. Not for long anyway.

The key to happiness

Australian Broadcasting Corporation

Broadcast: 05/05/2010

Reporter: Tracy Bowden

A comprehensive study has offered an insight into what makes for a good life and a good old age. The director of the Grant study George Vaillant speaks with Tracy Bowden about his results.

Transcript

TRACY BOWDEN, PRESENTER: Just what is the key to happiness? One person in a good position to know is Dr George Vaillant, Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. For more than 40 years he's directed one of the most comprehensive long-term studies in history. The grant study has documented the lives of a group of 268 men from youth through to old age with regular questionnaires, medical exams and interviews. Dr Vaillant is in Sydney for the fifth annual Happiness and its Causes conference and I spoke to him earlier today.

George Vaillant, you've been immersed in this study and these lives for more than 40 years now. Are you saying that the key to a good life is in the relationships you have in your life?

GEORGE VAILLANT, PSYCHIATRY, HARVARD MEDICAL SCHOOL: Absolutely. This is the only study in the world where you can take 18 year olds and compare them to themselves at 90 so that to answer the question, "Is love the most important thing in the world?", this study was uniquely set up to do that.

Some kids came from families where their parents were multimillionaires and some people came from families where their father worked in a garage and they were on full scholarship. Social class of your parents 40 years on made no difference at all. So that it isn't the class system that governs how we turned out in life, but it matters tremendously whether we are loved and whether we're able to give love.

And if I feel sick to my stomach, if I feel hungry, if I've got the hots for someone, it's all about me. Whereas if I have compassion, if I feel forgiveness, if I trust someone, it's all about them. And it's that distinction that makes the difference in well-being.

TRACY BOWDEN: Now let's talk a bit about ageing. I guess a lot of people aren't too happy about ageing, but has your attitude changed since you've been looking at the grant study men?

GEORGE VAILLANT: Oh, tremendously. When I was 50, I thought ageing was about the most terrible thing in the world, but I needed to study it to support the grant study. So I wrote this grant that I was going to follow these men's decay, of sort of how they, you know, gradually wound their way to their grave. Dying is terrible whether you do it at 10 or whether you do it at 90, but living is a whole lot of fun and the average person who's going to live to 95 at 90 is still in reasonably good health, and if you just hang out with them, which is what I did in running a grant study - the grant study.

My men were healthy at 80, and I interviewed them and they made it clear that they were happier then than they had been earlier on and the careful research shows that people over the age of 70 - and here I'm using happy not in the sense of excited, "Oh, this is my lucky day" happy, but happy in the sense of not being depressed, seeing glasses as half full and basically being glad you got up that morning and enjoying life.

TRACY BOWDEN: So in the end is the message that you, I guess, would like people to take away, is it that it's all about love? A good life is all about love?

GEORGE VAILLANT: Yes, ma’am. Yes, ma’am. But it's all about positive emotions that are genetically created for survival purposes. So I mean we've evolved to be increasingly altruistic and caring about each other. You do a lot better going to a positive church than you do reading (the atheist) Richard Dawkins.

(As) a psychiatrist... I think it's terribly important that my profession spend more time with positive emotion and more time regarding people's spiritual involvement as a virtue rather than something that if they just read enough Freud they could give up.

TRACY BOWDEN: George Vaillant, thanks for speaking to us.

George Vaillant: I am happy to be here.

Our tag line says, "Building a lifetime of great relationships"(R) That means with God, self and others. In this I want to include pets. I have see the addition of a pet bring harmony and happiness to quarreling families. Try it.