How to Help the Poor?

I recently asked a Minister in the inner city how his group was faring at helping the poor break the "Cycle of Poverty".  His answer surprised me. "We are not trying to get people out of poverty. Being poor is not all bad".

I had another conversation with a young woman of about 40 who was working with a government agency to help the poor. She said they set up a program for single mothers that provided food, clothing, milk and baby food as well as a small group of other unmarried pregnant women to provide emotional and informational support.

The goal was to encourage these very young, poor women who were on welfare to stop having unprotected sex and stop having babies.  The state needed to "empower" these babies to make better decisions about having babies.

Can you guess what happened? Did these young, unmarried women stop having "unprotected sex" and stop getting pregnant?

Why  would they stop? That would be stupid.

Stopping behavior that gets such nice rewards would be stupid and these women are NOT stupid! Most government agencies and Rescuers assume they are stupid so they treat them as totally ignorant and unable to understand why sex and babies are bad. Because, sex and babies out of wedlock are not bad for them in a culture that rewards it so lavishly.

Can our attempts to help the poor actually keep them poor?YES! It usually does.

Remember the chart that laid out the opposing extremes of Pleasers and Challengers? Another way to label them is "Over Functioner" and Under Functioner".  The Over Functioner is compulsively driven to Rescue Under Functioners. They are seen as: 

Sick Children who are Trapped and Need A Rescuer:  Victims, Stupid, Helpless, Ignorant, Sick, Addicted, Tainted, Powerless, Hopeless

Must have someone that is: Smart, Educated, Trained, Heroic, Tireless, Pure, Humble, Selfless, Godly, Powerful, Wise

In my former profession we called it One Up rescues victims that are always One Down

It is hard to break the compulsive habit of treating people beneath us but this approach to helping the poor and disadvantaged is very disrespectful. Only by interacting as equals can we show others Respect.

This is how multi-generational poverty is created and maintained.

Why are so many good hearted people breaking the Golden Rule?

If you want to learn how to keep the Golden Rule, try reading our materials, if you think you are ready for an alternative approach to caring. If you want to see an approach that breaks the cycle of poverty. Hope and Change for Humpty Dumpty is a place to begin.