Why The Golden Rule?

Testing to see if she is a witch. If she drowns she is innocent.

It is called Golden because it is of such worth. Interacting with dignity and restraint with others has the best chance of promoting self esteem and self initiative. However, practicing the Lead Rule is very likely to produce dependence and fear in others.

But here is a secret; we usually feel better when we treat others with disdain. It is much easier to get affirmation and to feel heroic when we act like we have the answers for others. In fact, the culture overwhelmingly promoted the Lead Rule but call it the Golden Rule.

We love to read and hear about Heroic Rescuers that take over another person's life and run it for them. Not long ago a local Anti-Drug Coalition started a bit campaign to raise money to but a special drug used by First Responders to bring people back from an overdose.

It seems that they had the kind that could be injected into the Patient but wanted the more expensive type that people can breathe. Why did they want the expensive type? Because they said the passed out and dying people with an overdose might feel stigmatized by having a needle used on them!

People dying from an overdose of heroin taken with a needle might feel badly if the people saving their lives used a needle? This is called "Enabling" or "Co-dependence" and means the Hero needs the addict as much as the addict needs the dope!

This is the Lead Rule multiplied.


Get my book, Hope and Change for Humpty Dumpty.

Golden Rule, Lead Rule and Stone Rule

Why is God better than Lead and Stone? We know that Gold weighs a lot. Is that what makes it better than Lead and Stones?

Lead is heavy! But not worth much except to weigh us down with worries, anxiety, that can bring on what Medical Experts and Therapists call "Burn Out".

Stones are also heavy, in fact heavier than Lead emotionally, spiritually and relationally. If you want to lose your mind and your cool, Practice the Stone Rule. Where living by the Golden Rule brings life and joy and peace, life by the Stone Rule  destroys us and our ability to help others.

The Golden Rule is a short summary of the in-depth teaching of Jesus! The whole teaching of Jesus is GOLDEN! The Bible contains only words and instruction that is GOOD for people and good for society. So, in my Ministry of Soul Care and Coaching I always Look for Good and God because they are the same thing.

Treat others like you want to be treated. Jesus

Caring, conscientious people that follow Jesus want to be treated with dignity and respect. They do not want to be coddled and pampered. They do not want to be treated as childish victims. Jesus speaks to caring, mature people that want to take care of themselves as much as possible.

This means that "Treating others the way they want to be treated" means that we offer everyone with dignity, respect and the full expectation that others will appreciate their respect and do everything they will be able to take care of themselves.

That is why the teaching of Jesus is GOLDEN! The book Hope and Change for Humpty Dumpty lays it all out!

Bear One Another's Burdens

This post is meant to accompany the sermon I did last week at River Tree Church in Milford. You can see the Your Tube Video.

The scripture makes it plain about how we are called to assist others: 1. Bear their Burdens; 2. Do not carry their Loads.


Why does St. Paul say Bear Burdens but turn right around and tells us not to carry their loads? What is the difference?


Can you think of a person that has a Burden you can assist in bearing? Who! What is the burden?

Can you think of a person that has loads of loads? What are they? Have you have been carrying their  loads?


See my book, Hope and Change for Humpty Dumpty.

Prayer Reflection-Day 7

Week 1 The Lord's Prayer

Day 7 The Lord's Day

For a whole week we have been reading and thinking about the prayer which Jesus gave to His disciples. On the first day of the week, Sunday, we gather with contemporary disciples and do the "Work of the People of God."  Some churches call this "the liturgy" while others simply refer to it as "worship" or even "going to church." In any event it is a time when we stop our commercial pursuits and pursue God until He catches us.

You have read and re read this simple prayer so it is percolating in your brain and your heart, giving you new insights and ideas about the Kingdom of God.

Today take a few minutes and reflect upon the past week by reviewing your notes. What occurred to you as you prayed and meditated? What would you say to others about the prayer? What would you put into a book for others? What is your greatest insight?

Let the Holy Spirit do a Router Rooter job on your spiritual blocks! Get my book, Breaking Free from the Past to learn how to clean up past wounds.

Praying Through-Day 6

For 25 years we have trusted God to keep our ministry alive!

Through many dangers, toils and snares, we have already come. 

Tis grace that brought us safe, thus far, and grace will take me home!


Week 1 The Lord's Prayer

Day 6. Give us this day our daily bread

How hard is it to be dependent on someone else?

Can you find rest in God’s provision?

When do you struggle with this verse?

Preaching Tomorrow at River Tree Church

I have the privilege of speaking tomorrow morning at River Tree Church in Milford. My text is taken from Galatians 6:

Bear one another's burdens and fulfill the law of Christ's love.

Let us examine our own works so we can feel good about our own efforts and not the efforts of others.

Every person must carry his own load.

We are to help carry the burdens of others but not their loads?

What is the difference between a burden and a load?

How can we tell the difference?

Does it matter?

You can read all about it in my book, Hope and Change for Humpty Dumpty. 

Third World Patterns that Led to a Death Spiral!


A great article on the power or powerlessness of data in impacting society was in my mailbox recently. It was written by Nell Edgington who is President of Social Velocity    

I get frustrated by the hype that promotes some software package. They are presented as the beginning of the New Millennium in its impact. If we will just use the new software we will end the social ills, evils and conflicts facing 7 Billion human beings! (Promises, Promises!)

Every new software must be used and used well to be of any good. Most software is designed to get a job done and it may assist us. However, we must figure out what jobs to do, when to do them and how to do them.

All social enterprises must have a plan. We must have a way to bring hope and change and the ability to patiently try new things and discard what does not work. Foundations, as a rule, have no patience to fund experiments and that drives us to exaggerate our successes. We too often count events that do little more than tell supporters how many brochures we passed out. Much data are but "True But Useless" TBU...

I try a different way to measure success. I attempt to actually estimate or count how many leaders are developed. More leaders equals more ministry equals more impact!

Then I estimate and count how many people and families have found real changes as a result of our work.

I believe in Multiplying Movers and Shakers! Free Spirit, hands on, get er done people.

Let me be honest: It is much easier to count True But Useless statistics about brochures sent out.

In one Third World nation of 150 million people we grew from one (1) leader to a thousand leaders!

Those people are leading groups, churches and ministries that are impacting hundreds of people every week, every month!

It took us 20 years to develop leaders. Now they love to get involved in promoting sobriety, self help, savings, investing, marriage, parenting, leading others to faith in Christ.

Go to our web and book store to discover how we did it.

Deeper Prayer-Day 5

Week 1 The Lord's Prayer

Day 5. The Kingdom is here! The kingdom is coming!

Thy kingdom come,

Thy will be done

On earth as it is in Heaven.

Where is the kingdom?
Whom must we emulate to enter the kingdom?
Where is the kingdom in your life?

Where are you in the kingdom?

Are you secure in the kingdom?

Deep Prayer-Day 4

Day 4. Holy is Thy Name.

What does it mean to be holy?

What does it mean for God to be holy?

What would it mean for us to be holy?

How can I move toward holiness?

What are the first steps?

What has helped me in the past?

See our web for Inner Healing Prayers to "Root out Areas of Strongholds" in Breaking Free.

Prayer From the Heart Day 3

1. The Lord's Prayer--Day 3. Looking inside

When we pray about God being a Father it can provoke earthly and spiritual images.

Are there any father images that limit your ability to relate to God?

How do you see God?

What is your relationship with your earthly father and how does it help or hinder the ways you think about God?

What attributes of your earthly father are most like those of the Heavenly Father?

Which are the least alike?

I was in my forties before I learned how to pray from the heart and not from my head or my ego! Go to our web and download a PDF on Breaking Free that focuses on Heart Knowledge!

Week 1 The Lord's Prayer

What Is The Lord's Prayer? Day 2

Week 1 The Lord's Prayer--Day 2. Personal Application. On the left side of the sheet is the model prayer. On the right side are ideas about how each line applies to life.

Read the applications and think about them for yourself.

Write your responses

Do you agree with my notes?

What would you add or take away?

What can you apply?

The Model Prayer:                                       Personal Application

Our Father                                                       (My Father)

Who art in Heaven                                         (My eternal home)

Hallowed be thy Name                                   (My Worship)

Thy Kingdom come,                                       (My need is your kingdom within)

Thy will be done                                             (My desire)

On earth, as it is in Heaven                            (My home needs your heart)

Give us this day, our daily bread,                   (My total dependence)

And forgive us our debts                                (My guilt is always before me)

As we forgive our debtors.                             (My grace and mercy demanded)

And lead us not into temptation                     (My protection)

But deliver us from evil                                 (My enemy)

For thine is the Kingdom,                               (My King)

And the power and the glory,                                     (My power source)

Forever                                                            (My only hope)

How to Meet Important People!

Jens Petter in Africa with the Bishop of the African Inland Church that had 40 million members!

We is the west like to run ourselves by the clock. As a rule we try to make conversations short and productive. We act like all of life proceeds in a straight line. However, that has not been my experience.

On my timeline I mention may friend Jens-Petter Jorgensen, a Lutheran Pastor in Norway. We have been great friends and colleagues since a "chance" meeting while attending a big meeting in Kenya, East Africa in 1983.

I was on the board of a Renewal organization and we were meeting in Oklahoma. During the prayer time I had a distinct sens that our group needed to expand into international waters. Brick Bradford, the Executive Director said, "I have been invited to go to Kenya to a renewal meeting but I think we ought to send Gary.

I was excited to go because I had just met a family from South Africa who came all the way to Cincinnati to Life Seminar. "Wow!" I thought, Africa! I have always wanted to go to Africa because I have heard so many great stories about missions and ministry there.

So how did I end up in Oslo?

See my web for more about us.

Seven Days of Prayer and Meditation Day One

Week 1. The Lord's Prayer

Day1 Foundations

This is the model prayer that Jesus taught to His students. It came after they complained that John the Baptist had taught his followers how to pray. It is the best-known prayer in the world and recited daily by millions of Christians from every communion. Too often it is said in a rote manner without thought. On this first day read the prayer and ask the Holy Spirit help you understand it in a new way.

Read the prayer a few times

Pause and think what it says to YOU

Write down your thoughts beside the prayer

Think about the words.

Mull them over.

Roll them around in your mind

What images and thoughts arise?

Our Father who art in Heaven

Hallowed be thy Name

Thy Kingdom come

Thy will be done

On earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread

And forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil

For thine is the Kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.

My response

Rest is God and meditate on the words of the prayer Jesus taught His Disciples. Write down any reflections afterward.

Who Am I? Does it Matter?

I was asked to speak at The River Tree Church recently on love. It was a great day and I was able to talk about God's love for His children.

We hear a lot about "Giving people dignity" on TV, radio and even in the most powerful court in America. It is shocking to me to see how deluded so many educated people can think about identity. It appears that the majority of the people in America are firmly convinced that we get our dignity from the government, the courts and public opinion.

The whole idea of "Hate Speech" is based on this false notion.  As Martin Seligman says, "The USA is experiencing a dramatic rise in depression, anxiety and entitlement attitudes because of the "Self Esteem Movement".

The Self Esteem movement has led schools to eliminate competitive sports, give medals to everyone and remove any sense of accomplishment from good behavior. Such ideas fly in the face of research and common sense. It is also a severe attack on the dignity of students, especially minorities.

Th Declaration of Independence got it right. All people are Created with Equal Dignity. God gives dignity! The imago Dei or image of God is conferred on each person at birth. For schools, courts and sports to think we can confer or remove basic dignity is saying "God is not enough so you do not have dignity until we give it to you!"

Hate Speech indicates that an evil person can reduce or remove my dignity by what he says?! What could be more ridiculous? By saying such a thing we agree that human dignity is so fragile that any deranged or evil person can take it away with a single word.

the old saying, "Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me" has enormous psychological and theological truth in it. If I ALLOW an evil person's words to bother or destroy me it is the result of MY choice to accept their statement as a fact.

Some hateful, evil, deranged teenager recently killed nine wonderful, God fearing brothers and sisters at a church prayer meeting. The media have feverishly pointed out that it was a "Hate Crime". The murdered Christians have more dignity in death than a million evil boys in ISIS or Emmanuel Church will ever have in their murderous rampages.

Why does the media attack the dignity of these men and women by pointing out the murder's attempt to reduce it? The response of the families and church members shows exactly how much dignity they had and have. The drug dazed kid did not remove their dignity but magnified its reality.

God gives dignity and every time humans try to take His job, they minimize the real thing.

See my book, Healing Release of the Holy Spirit for who we are in God's eyes.

Top Ten

Several Years ago,Bjorn Lomborg, a top expert in Global Warming / Climate Change, began to think about the biggest economic and health challenges facing the world. He asked economists to list their greatest concerns so they Rank Ordered world problems and discovered that, although Climate Change is real, it is not the most serious threat to our survival. It was, in fact, way down toward the bottom of their lists. 

About ten years ago while discussing the top priorities facing the church with local Pastors I asked a similar question. Rank Order the top Ten most critical issues facing your church. I had each Minister do the exercise personally then share their lists in small groups. 

To our surprise the "hot Topics" of our daily conversations did not end up as the most important items they faced in ministry. Many of the hottest topics on Facebook, magazines and newspapers are the scary items but not the most important items. No one mentioned same sex marriages, global warming or race riots. Why then do those topics get so much press? Like, meteors!!

While driving to the Gym this morning I heard an interview with a guy from the local planetarium. He announced it was National Meteor Watch Day, observed every year on June 30th. 

The media loves scary topics. They love things that make us anxious. And, if we are not careful we who teach, write and preach can fall into the same trap. For example, what is the Hot Potato Topic filling the airwaves daily?  It is about _______________!

Now think about how many people that issue really involves. Is it Closer to 10% or 90%?  What issues do your family and friends and parishioners face each week? List them and see what is most troubling to people. I will buy you a bottle of water if it is the same hot potato the media love. 

See Hope and Change for Humpty Dumpty for a book on helping troubled people change.

Russian Crackdown on Foreign Groups

Our Russian friends, especially orphans, need prayer.

The Russian government continues to stop foreign charities, missionaries, and addiction treatment groups from setting up shop there. Most Western Christian groups have had to leave Russia after doing a great deal of work to help local churches and do great social work. In fact, most of the Christian colleges and western style churches have been closed in the last few years.

Recently the government has put pressure on some of the largest American foundations, perhaps because they were sending millions of dollars to fund human rights and freedom of press groups. The MacArthur Foundation, which has billions of dollars, has spent about $179,000,000 there since 1991!

Some Christian groups have accomplished great things with much smaller contributions but even they are under great pressure by government agencies. Prayers are needed for all positive effort to support the people of Russia.

Mercy and Grace-What is the Difference?

Unresolved  Guilt

When we violate the laws of a city, state or nation we are Guilty. Guilt demands Justice. Justice is a debt owed to the authority to pay for our violation. I was caught speeding one night and was stopped by a police car. It was on I-75 and set up as a speed trap. The tiny village that the highway intersected for about a mile had a very low speed limit and put an officer there to catch unsuspecting motorists.

I was speeding according to the law of that municipality. I thus deserved justice and was required to pay a fine despite the fact that it was an unfair speed limit, an unfair rule and an unfair amount. When I met with the Justice of the Peace and complained, he agreed with all my points, but took my money anyway. I begged for mercy and received no mercy. He gave me strict justice according to the laws.

Mercy is refusing to give a person justice even though he/she deserves it. Some groups demand justice from others and from government. But I do not want justice, I want mercy.

There are times when a judge lowers the penalty or removes it totally that justice demands. Justice requires punishment.  Mercy means that Justice is removed or reduced. She is offering mercy to the defendant.

When God forgives us of True Moral Guilt He is offering us mercy. There is no punishment required for the justice we rightly deserve.

So, Mercy is not getting what we deserve.

Brace is getting more than we deserve.

See the book The Healing Release of the Holy Spirit to learn more.

Does Your Church Practice Confession and Forgiveness for Christians?

Some famous preachers say that there is no need for Christians to acknowledge their failures or sins. He maintains that because of grace and mercy all past, present and future sin and sins are removed.

James clearly tells us to "Confess our guilt to one another and pray for one another so we can be healed". (James 5:15-16)

Before we are redeemed, forgiven, converted and adopted we are "Dead in trespasses and sins". (RO 6)But upon our new life we may still fail and have True Moral Guilt that disturbs our harmony with God. Confession and Repentance repairs the harmony and offers a peaceful conscience. If we have guilt feelings and condemnation after confession, it is not conviction but culture that has grabbed you.

So we can come to the throne of grace to receive mercy and grace that includes opening the communication with God once again.

See my book Breaking Free for more details on Freedom!

What is True Moral Guilt?

A lot of people say "I feel guilty ..." but have no idea what True Moral Guilt is. People seem to feel guilty about all sorts of things that have no connection with sin.

True Moral Guilt is the "Conviction by God's word that we have violated  His moral or ethical commands". Many of the commands of God are contained in the famous Ten Commandments. They focus on relationships with God, self and each other.  Any violation of these Commands leave us with True Moral Guilt and "Conviction of my Sin". True Moral Guilt is removed on by Confession and Forgiveness.

There are also "Guilt Feelings" that arise from violating a social, family or community ideal. For example, there is a "Law of Reciprocity" that says if I give you a gift for Christmas you "should" give me one as well. If I fail I may feel "guilty" but it is not True Moral Guilt at all. It is really feeling embarrassed not "Conviction of my Sin".

Many struggle mightily with social guilt that comes from the "Shoulds" that others use to control us. Preachers and churches "Should on" us in an effort to get us to donate, attend church more or carry out their plans. This is "False Guilt". It is removed by understanding and rejecting it.  The origin of false guilt is not God but manipulative people.

For too long Christians have confused False Guilt with True Moral Guilt. My culture had strong SHOULDS about facial hair, wearing shorts, watching movies, rock music, etc. and I have counseled thousands of people who grew up with False Guilt that they confused with True Moral Guilt. As a result many of them suffered from anxiety, depression, and compulsive drinking or other behavior.

But the Good News sets us free from both False and True Guilt. Do you know anyone that needs to be free?

My books cover all this and will set you free from both True Moral Guilt and False Guilt. Power Christian Thinking will set you free from misery and false guilt! 

Should we invite Sinners to Church or wait until they are Reborn?

This may seem like a crazy question but reading and listening to my brothers and sisters makes me wonder. In response I have written a short poem. 

Don’t Go Near the Water

Don’t go near the water ‘til you know how to swim,

Don’t go near my church until you act like Him

We don’t allow no sinners in our pews,

Until those awful people know the good news!

Read my books, especially The Healing Release of the Holy Spirit. You will be challenged, angry, upset and set free!

Dangers of Offering Soul Care and Soul Cure to Christians Caught in Sin

There is a warning about attempting to help a Brother or Sister you discover has developed a pattern of sinful behavior. St. Paul says, "Be careful lest you be tempted as well." What are our greatest temptations?

1. Refuse to patiently bring the light of Christ into the darkness of the Brother's life. Fearfully back off and refuse to keep the focus on confession, repentance, and change. It is easy to allow our desire for harmony to replace courage and slip back into false love and false grace. This leaves the person without hope and cleansing and adds to his sense of True Moral Guilt. A bad conscience wears us out.

2. Allow our own emotional frustration and anger lead to an attack of the Brother. The person needs restoration rather than punishment and condemnation. An immature person may not be able to separate his/her outrage from God's mercy and condemnation not care is the result.

My book, Hope and Change for Humpty Dumpty is a start on this kind of deep caring. Read it.

    Blessed in the man whose sins are covered.
2 Blessed is the one whose sin the Lord does not count against them and in whose spirit is no deceit.

3 When I kept silent,
    my bones wasted away
    through my groaning all day long.
4 For day and night
    your hand was heavy on me;
my strength was sapped
    as in the heat of summer.

5 Then I acknowledged my sin to you
    and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, “I will confess
    my transgressions to the Lord.”
And you forgave
    the guilt of my sin.

6 Therefore let all the faithful pray to you

    while you may be found;

surely the rising of the mighty waters

    will not reach them.

7 You are my hiding place;

    you will protect me from trouble

    and surround me with songs of deliverance.

Without confession, our True Moral Guilt lies heavily on our spirit. When the spirit of a person is heavy, the mind is in turmoil and that causes the emotions to go wild. Finally, the psychosomatic issues arise and the body is destroyed.

Every church needs weekly opportunities for confession and forgiveness. As James said, "Confess your guilt to one another and pray for one another so that you can be healed.

Thank God for confession and forgiveness!

My book, Breaking Free has an extensive portion  on this.

Why Is True Moral Guilt So Good?

Several years ago, Dr. Paul Brand wrote a brilliant book, Fearfully and Wonderfully Made, with Philip Yancey about treating Lepers. In it he made a point that helped me understand why True Guilt and its delivering system of Conviction are so important to spiritual, relational, emotional, and physical health. 

The reason so many lepers lose their fingers, toes and hands is due to losing the feelings in those extremities. Pain is the warning that they are in danger of being burned or cut. With no warning the lepers stick their hands in a fire or other dangerous place and severe damage occurs. 

I have a friend that has no feeling in his legs or feet. One day he put on a shoe that had a fairly large object in it. He wore the shoe all day without realizing it was tearing his foot down!

Sinful behavior with no True Moral Guilt to arise as a painful reminder of danger always leads to great damage to the soul. 

I entered graduate school in Counseling I saw a determined effort by Secular Humanists, many reared in Christian homes to remove all guilt feelings from their Clients. I saw the dangers of removing "False Guilt" that comes from  

over controlling individuals, churches and societies but removing True Moral Guilt will devastate both. 

One of our friends had an EAP at work and she went to a Counselor to help her with depression. The Counselor lectured her on doing too much for her ageing parents and said that she "Should curse them face to face and never speak again"!

She came to me for advice and told me what had happened. I asked if she agreed with the Counselor and she obviously did not. Such advice would have brought True Moral Guilt as well as social guilt upon my friend, but it was the kind of advice schools were passing on to their students. 

Guilt is a warning to us that something is wrong and needs to be changed. I may need Confess, Repent and Receive Forgiveness from God. Or, I may need to say, "That is a social convention on which I disagree so I will ignore it. Thajk God I am free!"

Either way, I get to be free.

See my books on Soul Care and be free from every kind of Guilt!

Free Videos on Healing and Growth

Some of you may not be aware that we have a lot of free videos on our web page. We focus on healthy individuals, healthy marriages, healthy families and healthy churches @ Sweeten Life.com so take a look at the entire site and then view some power filled videos.

There are several done specifically for people with a family member who has a chronic need of some sort. See my discussion with Cyndi Wineinger on the web page.

Who Can Minister to a Christian that has Intentionally Sinned?

I will re-post the passage from Galatians about growth in maturity through Discipleship that deals with moral and or ethical failures.

Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Galatians 6.

If a Christian is caught in sin. It is not easy to interpret the meaning of  the term sin here. It seems to be an emphasis on a person with a chronic failure or compulsion rather than a simple misstep or unusual mistake. 

When we find a brother or sister engaged in a chronic moral failure it is more difficult to handle than falling in a rare display of carnal immaturity. The most common response to a moral and ethical failure of any sort seems to lack an intention to restore people to harmony with God. We too often hear the phrase, "I am called to love not judge".That is a failure of love and responsibility. It is based on fear rather than faith. 

Scripture calls us to judge with righteousness and mercy. Failing to understand the goal of judgement leads to a lack of forgiveness.  If we leave people in their True Moral Guilt it can lead to their depression, anxiety and emotional collapse. Facing and forgiving True Moral Guilt and separating it from False or Cultural Guilt Feelings is essential to successful Soul Care. 

It takes a Spiritually Mature Person to administer effective Soul Care and Soul Cure to a Compulsively Sinful Christian. Compulsive persons have developed deep Habits of a Fleshly Nature that lack the Fruit of the Spirit. These habits are formed in childhood or youth and have rarely been overcome. It will take a long time and deep searching of the soul to overcome them. 

Do you know anyone that has a long term habit of ungodly behavior? Has anyone attempted to help them leave it behind? See Breaking Free to discover ways to break long term bondage.