There is a lot of talk now about churches and ordinary people intervening in the lives of people who suffer from depression, anxiety and addictions. A famous actor, Philip Seymour Hofman, died a couple of weeks ago and the media was filled with articles that blamed his friends or the community for a failing to save him.
The son of the famous preacher Rick Warren took his own life last year. The tragedy was followed by a predictable series of attacks on Rev Warren and his wife as well as attacks on the churches for failing to help people like the young Mr. Warren.Many of the critics were religious folks.
Allow me to be clear: "I have no advice and certainly no criticism for the Warren's or anybody else when these things happen. They are tragic and can happen to any family and any church. To my knowledge, the rate of drug addiction, depression and suicide are about the same for Christians and non Christians. But we can do something.
Why are BS (Blame and Shame) unwarranted?
When I was at UC we faced a huge problem with students doing drugs. One day a student asked if he could talk with me. I said "Sure" and we went to my office where he told me he was hooked on Marijuana and needed my help to get off. After some discussion he said, "I wanted to talk with you earlier but I was afraid you would judge me. When you grew a beard I decided you were OK and could understand my problems and not judge me."
Small things mean a lot. My church friends hated my beard. They judged me harshly for being a Hippie and a Liberal. But it was simple. I wanted to be more like my students and it worked. I was able to support him as he worked to get sober.
If you want to learn how better to condemn do not read my materials. You will just be disappointed and end up condemning me as well. I follow a man that said "I did not come into the world to judge it but to save it". Me too! See my books if you want to be a lover.
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