There is a good bit of resistance from people when we say that change is usually long and hard fought. Many seem to think that any and all change SHOULD be instantaneous. Smokers and drinkers SHOULD be able to stop those habits immediately. Husbands SHOULD be able to lay down their lives for their wives and wives SHOULD be able to peacefully submit to a husband without a struggle. I am sure you can think of other areas in which a person SHOULD be able to stop old habits and start new ways of living.
Many of us love to SHOULD on others about how to change. When we see a friend do something we consider to be wrong we think and even say: “They SHOULD act differently.” However, research on change indicates that all of us go through various stages before any major changes are made and kept.
There is much evidence people do not make dramatic changes quickly. Prochaska and Di Clemente discovered Six Stages in each case of change.I added another Stage. They are:
1. Pre-Contemplation: I do not think I need to change.
2. Contemplation: I think I might need to change some day
3. Count the cost of a change.
4. Make the Change Decision
5. Continue to work on change and not relapse.
6. Complete that particular change
7. Continue to add changes into my wellness
Want to know more? Get my book, Hope and Change for Humpty Dumpty.
Can you think of any big decisions with these steps in them?
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