Friday, July 6, 2012

How Parents of A Hurting Child Feel

Our ministry to families with a member who has a special need is growing. However, we have a long way to go. NAMI, an organization for families with members who have issues of mental and emotional health, have been around for a long time providing support, encouragement and wisdom for parents and care givers. I am publishing a Parent's Rant to let us get a taste of the frustration many parents chronically feel.

My son and I talked about the studio apartments...he came to me...Yeah!!!   He is a little reluctant concerning “unnamed” for some reason but my friend suggested “unnamed” in Sunnyvale so we are off to check into that sometime during the next week or so plus we'll check into “unnamed “and get his name on the years and years and years long waiting list. 

All of this scrambling around that we do.  We are all frantically searching for that one small straw that will give our loved ones just a glimmer of hope!  Trouble is, the wheat field has been through a storm!

First, we are told, "Oh just get help for your loved one!"  Then "oh, you should be doing this and that, and it's your fault that your loved one is as ill as he or she is!"  The we are told, "Well, if your loved one is turned away from services it's because you are taking care of him or her!"  "Put them out on the streets!"

Then help finally comes, 'Why didn't you get help earlier." we are told!  Enablers, everyone cries!
Then, our loved ones are put through programs while in rehabilitation and that's great.  We begin to feel some hope at this point and are so grateful for the care received!  Oh but they've started smoking.
Finally, moving day!  At first, we can't believe it!  One bathroom for 9 people!  Then we see 3 people sharing a room....$725!!!
Two filthy mattresses on a floor....but the rent is only $700.00...
Another home, "Why do you padlock the washing machine?" I ask and the kitchen is locked and all of the clients stay to their rooms!

Then, we are finally broken.  Our loved ones are herded like sheep.  If we complain, they are blacklisted from other homes.  If we don't complain, we have to watch them live in squalor.
Homes smelling of urine on hot days.  Rampant theft!  Complaints from neighbors!   Police calls, arguments and drug use!

Our loved ones though did a great job going through the programs needed at “unnamed”and “unnamed”!  I'm so proud of them! 
Once in a while, some of the fortunate clients with courage, perseverance and  let's face it at that point feeling  more able and just screaming inside for something more; those people go on to being able to manage their own lives a little better.  With tremendous support, they are able to go forward....but, Most will still need some form of low income housing...a small bathroom, kitchenette...their own space!

And once again, we find ourselves going from door to door..."Didn't he apply for section 8." they ask?

yes, but his number is low and another 20 years away and he keeps moving and we have to update all the records each time that he moves!

Oh well, that's my rant,

The lesson here is, "Greet care givers with understanding and compassion not judgment and labels."

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