Stop Talking and Start Listening
I recently happened to sit next to a couple of ladies at a meeting on evil in the world who began to discuss evil and pain in the world. One started telling her personal story and it gripped me deeply. Not only the pain and awful evil that her husband put her through, that was incredible and ongoing for years.
This lady was finally able to break out of her marriage and pain but it took several years. The other three of us were mesmerized with her telling. However, one had some advice for her that she quickly rejected as useless.
I asked a couple of questions to make sure she knew we were open to hear the story and pain. It opened her gate so she really poured her heart out to three strangers. I learned later that the reason she came to the group was to share her pain.
Thankfully, she went on despite the fact that we were strangers. Thankfully, we were able to tune in to her deep heart and conclusions. The reason was were were willing to care and allow her to be a courageous, gutsy, mature woman. She had wisdom we all needed to hear.
Even after the event was long past, my new friend needed to tell us more. And tell she did with tears and grit!
There are several lessons here, I think.
First, "Be quick to listen and slow to advise".
Second, we never know when a person with pain will be ready to unload so get ready to hear with love.
Third, "We have little if any knowledge about how to help a person that has been abused.
What would you add?
You can learn to listen by going to our web site and watching our free videos plus get my eBook on PDF called "How to be me in my Family Tree".