Saturday, August 3, 2013

A.A.A.D.D.




Hot Stuff!

Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.

Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.


This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,

I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage,

I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table,

Put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
And notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back

On the table and take out the garbage first...

But then I think,

Since I'm going to be near the mailbox
When I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table,

And see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study,

So I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the can of Pepsi I'd been drinking.


I'm going to look for my checks,
But first I need to push the Pepsi aside
So that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Pepsi is getting warm,
And I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi,
A vase of flowers on the counter
Catches my eye--they need water.

I put the Pepsi on the counter and
Discover my reading glasses that
I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk,
But first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter ,

Fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.


I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I'll be looking for the remote,
But I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,
So I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
But first I'll water the flowers.


I pour some water in the flowers,
But quite a bit of it spills on the floor.


So, I set the remote back on the table,
Get some towels and wipe up the spill.


Then, I head down the hall trying to
Remember what I was planning to do.


At the end of the day:

The car isn't washed,
The bills aren't paid,
There is a warm can of
Pepsi sitting on the counter,
The flowers don't have enough water,
There is still only 1 check in my check book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
And I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,

I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day,
And I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem,

And I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail....

Do me a favor.

Forward this message to everyone you know,
Because I don't remember who I've sent it to.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!
P.S. I don't remember who sent it to me, so if it was you, I’m sorry!

More good stuff but not so funny.

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