Family system processes are fairly predictable. Most of the conflicts and patterns seem to circle around a Triangle in the family, or more concretely, overlapping Triangles. Some people say that the most basic configuration in organizations is the three sided process not a two sided. Jane and Joe marry because they want to be together. However, Triangles are usually exist there as well.
A Triangle is three people or two people and an object such as sports, career, church, etc. The two that are close together are emotionally enmeshed leaving the third part outside.The two inside seem to be satisfied but the outsider is dissatisfied.
When Jane and Joe fall in love they are a passionate twosome. They are consumed with each other. The passionate energy lasts as long as unfulfilled sex is a driver but as soon as the male is sexually satisfied he turns toward other pursuits. Many males turn to a job and career, sports, cars, male friends, etc. This leaves the female feeling abandoned, lonely, rejected and angry. Husband is close to his job and distant from the Wife.
In traditional societies when Joe was sexually satisfied he stopped pursuing Jane and she was hurt. However, by that time sh was usually pregnant and had her own inside person to draw close. These are overlapping Triangles.
In modern societies with women chasing men and giving away their most potent weapon, sex, the dissatisfaction begins much earlier and it leaves the women alone and frustrated. In farming parlance, the cow must not give away the milk.
Read our book, How to be Me in My Family Tree for more on Triangles. We also have a good number of free videos on You Tube Channel at the web site.
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