Family Conflicts

Look at the family systems genogram/family map of Abraham and his Wives, It becomes obvious why there was conflict among the wives, their children and their children's children.  In fact, those conflicts continue to the present day between the Arabs, the Muslims and the Jews. Even those Christians adopted into the family tree has conflicts with the children of Ishmael. Conflict in a system with so many basic difficulties is inevitable.

I worked among the Muslims for almost three years. They were, as a rule, caring people that loved their families and doted on their children. However, if they chose, Domestic Law allowed them to obey Sharia Law in marriage and family life. This meant they could have four wives at one time.

In a seminar on marriage counseling I was asked by an Imam about why America did not allow polygamy. As best I could I answered that we were founded as a nation based on Judeo/Christian laws that allowed one man, one woman and one life, but recent divorce law was threatening those traditions.

He then asked, "What do you think of polygamy personally?"

I said, " I am in no position to attack Islam. I am a Christian and know too little to be critical."

He pushed me on the topic twice more but I refused the bait. Finally, one of the female Counselors said, "This is a stupid tradition! Its is stupid and harms women and children!"

Questions: "Why did I avoid answering the Imam?"

Was it cowardice?

An inability to think on my feet?

I like polygamy?

Read my book, How to be me in my Family Tree for an overview of family healing.