Conflict and Communication 2

According to Dr. John Gottman, the greatest cause of conflict and divorce is not an issue but any issue. That is, any issue where we hold differing ideas, ideals, values, emotional attachments, convictions, etc. This is why we need to understand ourselves before we can truly understand others.  This is true for marriages, politics, religion, education, taxes, homes, cars, etc.

Conflict can either strengthen or destroy a relationship, including marriage. The way couples handle differences and the resultant conflict is the most significant difference between being successful or unsuccessful. Those who handle differences appropriately are able to make it through life with success. They will not divorce or suffer other traumatizing problems. If, however, they cannot deal effectively with the differences which plague every couple, they will very likely separate and divorce.

Couples and others such as churches and groups come to a critical path in the road of togetherness. If they travel along the positive path the marriage will grow. If not, it will dissolve. The fork in the road is:  attack or attend. If one personally attacks the other, the relationship is in real danger. If they find a way to attend to each other the relationship will grow. 


Want to learn new communication skills? Here is how. Read Humpty Dumpty.