Over the past forty or so years that I have been in education, counseling and pastoral care I have done hundreds of seminars, workshops and coaching sessions on healing and growth. These are pretty complicated topics because they refer to every aspect of human life and the needs of people are great in every city and nation.
The biggest difference between people is not wealth but health.
The single biggest difference between successful and unsuccessful organizations, families and schools is not IQ, money, facilities or talent but the ability of leaders to promote healthy living. There are three different areas of Christian life that can promote either dysfunction or life giving harmony. They are:
Love and its various aspects as revealed in interpersonal relationships.
Truth as it is related to others with love.
Gifts of God unleashed to benefit others.
If you want to help people grow, then love is the place to start and to finish. I CO 13:10 says, "These three remain faith, hope and love but the greatest is love." Far too often this word love is interpreted by preachers, teachers and even normal people as something it is not; in fact something that does not bring healing or growth.
The biblical kind of love is tough as nails and as deep as is necessary to help others. Here is a definition I learned from a Medical Doctor I "shadowed" some years ago. "Mature love is wanting, willing and doing the best for others under the Lordship of Christ." That is cool but heavy, isn't it?
Many people say they want the best for others, even when they are selfishly taking advantage of them. All kinds of dysfunctional behavior can be rationalized away as "loving". For example, some parents coddle their children and reinforce dependence, immaturity and laziness; all under the guise of "love".
Sex addicts can rationalize a furtive, secretive, impersonal midnight rendezvous because they are "loving" that person.
If I am the only one judging whether my actions are loving or not I can easily distort what is going on and take credit for Christian love when it is no more than selfishly grabbing all the gusto I can get for me.
But this definition offers some clarity for us when we use it to define what biblical love as the "Fruit of the Spirit" really is. It says: "Under the Lordship of Jesus Christ". Does this love honor and glorify God or simply glorify me?
Behavior that edifies others while honoring God comes pretty close to being loved. And, when we live in love, we show Christ and promote health. Take a look at Galatians 5 for the complete list of what love means. I will revisit it later.
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