Mission 2013 #27 Discipling Equipping for Mission

I was on the staff of a wonderful church for 16 years. It was an enlightening and personally stretching time when God was doing some amazing things in us and our congregation. Here is Cincinnati and around thew world graduates of the church are still doing all kinds of ministry. Some lead, some are missionaries, some heal, some are doctors, lawyers, psychotherapists and some are great at rearing families for Jesus. 

Here are some things we did to disciple our members for ministry, mission, multiplication. 

1. We led and were led to emphasize God's Kingdom not just our church. We shared all our insights and resources with any Christian, any church and any theological focus. 

2.  We talked a lot about growth and it meant several things:

a. Growth in numbers. We wanted to bring new people to Christ and new Christians to membership. We refused to get too big in numbers and when we reached just over 2,000 we stopped adding services.
b. Growth in maturity. We fervently promoted a lifetime of healing and growth spiritually, emotionally, relationally and vocationally. We were an Equipping Center that decided to equip every member to minister.
c. Growth in outward impact. We served the poor, helped the cities, ministered to families and equipped other churches. 
d. We grew in reputation, compassion and love.
e. We had an open, innovative, permission giving approach to ministry.  Individuals, groups, committees and ministries could do just about anything that was not contrary to the call, vision and values of the church. 

3. When I left the church staff to follow God's call, I counted over 600 men and women who said they knew their gifts, their call and were well equipped to minister in those gifts.Yes, 600 people actively involved in MISSION Activities. 

You can see the results of one retired couple we call Seasoned Believers who bought a camper and went on the road to churches and ministries all over America to teach, train, evangelize, pray for healing and offer Christian Counsel. The book is God's Threads or What a Coincidence, and it was written by a woman who did the traveling and teaching after she was 60 years of age. 

That church had numerous lay men and women doing active ministry: 

1. Over 40 who visited homes weekly wit a message of hope and evangelism.
2. Over 60 who served as Peer Helpers to pray for hurting people.  
3. Over 125 who served as Lay Pastors
4. Over 30 who visited the homes of persons who were ill.

This is Ephesians 4 at its best. 

Want to learn more? Write me at gary@sweetenlife.com 



 

Mission 2013 #25. Adverse Childhood Events and Drugs

 In order to stop or reduce drug abuse we must reduce childhood trauma or bring healing to the victims. The following examples of Adverse Events are Closely Correlated with Adult Disease and Adult Addiction

Adverse Childhood Experiences Definitions

The following categories all occurred in the participant's first 18 years of life.

Abuse

Emotional Abuse

Often or very often a parent or other adult in the household swore at you, insulted you, or put you down and sometimes, often or very often acted in a way that made you think that you might be physically hurt.

Physical Abuse
Sometimes, often, or very often pushed, grabbed, slapped, or had something thrown at you or ever hit you so hard that you had marks or were injured.

Sexual Abuse
An adult or person at least 5 years older ever touched or fondled you in a sexual way, or had you touch their body in a sexual way, or attempted oral, anal, or vaginal intercourse with you or actually had oral, anal, or vaginal intercourse with you.

Neglect

Emotional Neglect¹
Respondents were asked whether their family made them feel special, loved, and if their family was a source of strength, support, and protection. Emotional neglect was defined using scale scores that represent moderate to extreme exposure on the Emotional Neglect sub-scale of the Childhood Trauma Questionnaire (CTQ) short form.

Physical Neglect¹
Respondents were asked whether there was enough to eat, if their parents drinking interfered with their care, if they ever wore dirty clothes, and if there was someone to take them to the doctor. Physical neglect was defined using scale scores that represent moderate to extreme exposure on the Physical Neglect sub-scale of the Childhood Trauma Questionnaire (CTQ) short form constituted physical neglect.

Household Dysfunction

Mother Treated Violently
Your mother or stepmother was sometimes, often, or very often pushed, grabbed, slapped, or had something thrown at her and/or sometimes often, or very often kicked, bitten, hit with a fist, or hit with something hard, or ever repeatedly hit over at least a few minutes or ever threatened or hurt by a knife or gun.

Household Substance Abuse
Lived with anyone who was a problem drinker or alcoholic or lived with anyone who used street drugs.

Household Mental Illness
A household member was depressed or mentally ill or a household member attempted suicide.

Parental Separation or Divorce
Parents were ever separated or divorced.

Incarcerated Household Member
A household member went to prison.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

We cannot stop all Shock, Trauma Abuse and Neglect but we can slow it down and also train our members how to carefully show others GREW Skills of: Genuineness, Respect, Empathy and Warmth. See our free videos or get our healing books at the web.

Great healing comes from love and caring. To those add worship, praise and fellowship.

Mission 2013 #24 Drug Prevention That Fails

As I read blogs, chat with friends and work with Pastors, Counselors and Crusaders I am struck with how fervent many of them are to prevent drug abuse and heal addicts. Unfortunately, we know little about both treating addictions and prevention it. First, we can become in bondage to several different things.

Drugs

Alcohol
Speed
Meth
Marijuana
Heroin
Smoking
Sugar

Food (It has been said that Eskimos can become addicted to whale blubber)
Clothing
Masturbation-sex with porn or without porn
Heterosexual or Homosexual Behavior
Repeated Tics
Obesity
Running
Golf


Internal Things
Self Pity
Sadness
Pleasing People
Anger
Bullying
Lying
Pessimism
Self Pain like cutting, pinching, burning
Hiding, Shyness

Conclusion: Any repeated behavior that becomes an difficult habit to change must offer the person something that is a reward. If it is not a reward they will stop it.

Unfortunately, many of our attempts to PREVENT such patterns end up being a REWARD and thus make the pattern WORSE or STRONGER. An example is the DARE DRUG Program that was used an many schools and churches. People who attended those Prevention Programs were LESS LIKELY to support their friends who wanted to REDUCE DRUG USE and less likely to PREVENT USE. 

Why was it a failure? Maybe it was the
Wrong People Speaking
Wrong Message
Wrong Setting
Wrong People Listening
Wrong Assumptions about the Needs

During my tenure at the University of Cincinnati the Administration decided to start programs to prevent drug use. They assumed that the users knew very little about the physical and psychological effects of drugs. Students needed, we thought, to be "Educated" about drugs. We assumed they were naive, ignorant, stupid and innocent dragged into drug use. We did not respect them. Our arrogance actually caused them to do more drugs to show us up and, as one student told me, let the "dumb a__ administrators" know how stupid we were. He said, "I know more about dope than you will ever know!" He was right. The program made students more likely to use.

Think about these things:

Who is most likely to use drugs and get hooked?
What kind of personality do they have?
Who would be most likely to speak their language and appeal to them?
Who would be least likely to appeal to them?
What message would be most likely to appeal to them?
What message would be most likely to appeal to them?

Think it over.

Question: Is This The Answer to Violence?

The gun rights debate in DC rages on an on. The politicians are divided as are American citizens.

Is this video the answer? 

Does it scare you or seem right?

Mission 2013 #23 How To Prevent Drug Use

There is a sudden interest in my part of the world for stopping drug addiction. Public officials, church leaders and families have awoken to the fact that a lot of people are destroying their lives with drugs. Drug abuse has been a major problem in America since the Sixties when I was an Associate Dean at the University of Cincinnati. But the public only becomes aware of it when people in power are confronted with the problem. Heroin that is cheap and as available is coffee has brought drug destruction to the surface in middle class and upper class communities.

When people in power become aware of a problem in America they  think they must do something and fast! The cops are overwhelmed, the courts are overwhelmed, the government agencies are overwhelmed, schools are overwhelmed, churches are in denial because families are falling apart.

In America we FIX THINGS. We BUILD THINGS. We CHANGE THINGS. Our ongoing motto is:

DON'T JUST STAND THERE;
DO SOMETHING!

Let's face, it, we only feel good if we are actively trying to fix things. What we do may make the problem worse but we rush to fix it because it makes us feel useful, powerful and competent.  In graduate school at Southern Illinois I took a great class in Anthropology taught be a top educator in the Kennedy White House who left academe to train the first classes of Peace Corps Volunteers.

The Peace Corps was a perfect example of  American idealism and the fix it mentality. There was poverty, disease, and disaster all over the globe and we were prosperous, peaceful and experts at everything. All we had to do was take our superior knowledge to an ignorant populace in other countries and they would carry us away on their shoulders with love and admiration.

The name of our text book was ironically Man Takes Control. One of the stories was about a poor country in Africa that was trying to raise corn without fertilizer, insecticides, modern farming methods, etc. The ears they produced were small, filled with insects and eaten by local animals. In America we have learned through decades of research how to grow large, disease resistant corn and how to keep animals away.

Simple answer. Show the stupid locals how to grow better corn. Here is where you, dear reader, come in. Predict what happened and win a free book. The person who writes the prediction closest to the actual case study will get a copy of my eBook Hope and Change for Humpty Dumpty.

If you want to prevent your kids, neighbors, friends and community from doing drugs, engaging in sex, porn, crime, cheating, etc you need to think this over and decide what works. Or, like many community programs, just go on and do what we have always done and expect different results.

Shalom,

Gary Sweeten

Mission 2013 #22 Family Life in a Christian Nation

Many nations exist without having a Christian basis. However, a nation founded and operating on Christianity will be more prosperous and life giving than if it were based on Sharia Law, Secular Humanism, Buddhism or Paganism.
The Bible and Christ in it promote love, life and generosity.
People who worship God and who read His word must sooner or later start to apply Christian principles of justice, mercy and grace to daily life. But because of sin,all those nations that arose from Christian principles failed to apply Christian principles to certain groups such as women Africans as well as some groups of sinners. The equality of all humans is writ large in scripture but the selfishness of humanity is strong. The desire for financial wealth and sexual power has driven many Christians to deny biblical rights to some. The Bible is clearly supportive of the importance of family life with an emphasis not only on the nuclear family but also on maintaining great ties from generation to generation. Scripture warns us to honor our parents and thus prepare the way for a prosperous future. Communists hated the biblical position on families and did everything possible to destroy the family. This approach doomed those nations to poverty and weakness.

As a Family Therapist I often read articles and books by leaders in my field. One of the consistent themes from them has to do with the current downward spiral of family life and healthy behavior. We Christians would call that a loss of biblical Christianity. They call it a loss of health, wealth and functionality. This loss leads to traumatized children who re carrying the pain of their parents dysfunction, divorces, conflicts and sin. As a result they often turn to sexual promiscuity, drugs, anger, violence, and crime.

Of the 100 murders in Cincinnati in 2012, I estimate that 95 of the victims and the killers were without a father in the home! And, I would bet that 90% of the killers were doing drugs. Yes, I said, 95% of them were from single mother homes. These kids were abandoned by their fathers.

One of the most memorable lines in scripture is found in Malachi 4:

And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers; lest I come and smite the land with utter destruction.

This is a very apt line for contemporary Christians. Let us pray for the people who can accomplish this goal. Go to the web page and download my book How to be me in my Family Tree and find out how to heal generations of believers who are lost in dysfunctional family patterns. Learn how to heal your family tree!

Another book that you need to read is Breaking Free that tells about the results of Adverse Childhood Events and adult diseases, addictions and problems. I also tell you how to pray for healing. Also pray for political leaders with a knowledge and commitment to biblical principles. Gary Sweeten
www.sweetenlife.com 

Mission 2013 #21 Addicts Can Change

Many of us know an addict or two, and I mean a real addict not someone who likes chocolate. A lot of people say things like, " I love chocolate. I think I am addicted to it." Although eating can become an addiction and chocolate might be part of the process, that does not describe an addiction.

In the last few years several well known Christian leaders and ministries have publicized the ways they work with addicts to help them regain sobriety. Rick Warren's group came up with a great program called Celebrate Recovery, Alcoholics Anonymous and its offshoots have been around since 1935 or so and several people have reached out to men and women stuck in debilitating sexual practices like pornography homosexuality, masturbation and that might be considered to be addictions. Those of us who read the research widely know that millions of people leave their bad habits, compulsions, dependencies and addictions behind every year. Yes, many more fall over the edge into those terrible habits but it is heartening to realize that positive change can happen. What do you think is the reason most people can escape from addictions? Healing Prayer Deliverance by a Pastor Alcoholics Anonymous Psychiatry Psychology In-Patient Treatment Self Choices Reading a book A Direct Intervention by God First, some things to remember: When we face the daunting task of supporting a person in the change process we need to remind ourselves that they have chosen a very difficult road to travel. Since all change is self-change with the Spirit's unction, we need to tread softly as we support a halting, double minded struggler. It is by definition cooperating with the Holy Spirit and our friend in a life r death battle for life and peace. We cannot overemphasize the need for wisdom, the Fruit of the Spirit and prayer. Two, Addiction needs to be addressed on two fronts at the same time. 1. Heal the inner places of brokenness that mare the roots of pain behind the compulsions. Listen deeply to the hurting heart of the Seeker and draw water from the deep well of pain. Avoid any sense of rejection, condemnation,fear,guilt and shame. These feelings are the cause of the need to medicate. 2. Dependency arises in order to get an artificial high. When an addict begins to stop his/her using the sudden fall into sadness, depression, anxiety brings a need to find a better way to lift his spirits. Worship, prayer, meditation, exercise, competitive games, deep fellowship, coffee, food, etc can all be helpful. Make sure the person has few times of HALT: Hunger, Anger, Loneliness and Tiredness because they are danger zones for a person coming down off a series of highs. If possible take your friend to 90 days of A.A. Meetings. There is much more but this is a great start. Go to Sweeten Life web and get my books on Soul Care. Hope and Change for Humpty Dumpty is a place to begin your education. The answer to how people change is;SELF Choice with no formal assistance but many people, prayers, church, etc bring small supports in life.