Speaking the truth in love

Speaking the truth in love we are to grow up in every way into Him... Ephesians 4:15

Helping is not for the benefit of Teacher but for the Learner. Our goal is to help ourselves to pass life, health and peace to people we know. We, like Jesus, come to serve not be served. The cause of much conflict and difficulty among Christians lies here. We all want others to help us.

Scripture is clear about the need for balance between love and truth, rest and action, challenge and submission.  I read many criticisms of Christians and agree with most of them. I suggest that the primary problem with those who attack each other is not ideological but a lack of love. Without the fruit of the Holy Spirit even those who agree ideologically can get caught in a harmful conflict if we have no ability to "agree to disagree agree-ably."

It reminds me of an apocryphal story about a man was stranded on the proverbial deserted Pacific Island for many long years. Finally one day a boat came sailing into view, and the man frantically waves to draw the skipper's attention. The boat came near the island and the sailors came on the island to greet the stranded man.

After the tour the sailor asked the man,

"Why are there three huts you have here?"

"Well, that's my house."

"What's that next hut?" asks the sailor.

"I built that hut to be my church."

"What about the other hut?"

"Oh, that's where I used to go to church.

One of our favorite philosophers was Pogo, a cartoon possum of the Forties and Fifties. He was fond of saying,

We have me the enemy and he is us. The cause of warring and fighting is not far from us for it is within us.

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Do they not they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but do not get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. James 4:1-3

We all need a heartectomy from the sword of the Spirit, the word of God. The term used here is desires. According to the Greek-Hebrew Key Study Bible, epithumeo is a specific type of desire meaning, "A passionate demand arising from natural desires." The nature of our flesh is selfish, demanding and unyielding on theological as well as personal matters. As James says, we fight and quarrel because of our selfish demands. He goes on to say that even our prayers are not answered because we ask from wrong motives in order to serve our selfish desires.

Want to learn how to stem fights? Go to our web page and get my books.

www.sweetenlife.com/store

Drugs and the Government

The President and top government officials are calling drugs a national crisis and want to DO something. This is an area very close to the heart of President Trump because his brother died from alcoholism, which is still a very dangerous drug. 

The challenge to reduce addiction and early death is very great. I have been working in Mental Health and Addiction for a long time and I certainly do not have THE ANSWER. I do have some suggestions. 

1. One of the least expensive ways to reduce addiction is churches with Recovery Groups. The most successful programs in Russia  was Recovery for both Addicts and for Co-Dependent family members. Supporting family members is as important as helping addicts. Addiction rates in Russia are ten times worse than ours but they have been very successful by helping families!

Drugs are only one part of the total Compulsive and Dependent behavior spectrum. People also get hooked on sex, pornography, the internet, food, anger, etc. 


Options for Us

A. Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous are the most prevalent. They also sponsor Al Anon for family members

B. Celebrate Recovery is a Christ centered program with many resources to get started.  http://www.celebraterecovery.com/

C. Teaching people to pray is very helpful.

D. Trained Peer Helpers is important.

E. Train people that the scripture says, "There is no condemnation" for people that struggle. So, let us stop condemning addicts. 

In Cincinnati we can get help at:

City Gospel Mission https://www.citygospelmission.org/recovery/

The Serenity Network has several options.
nfo@serenityrecoverynetwork.org

The Cincinnati Vineyard has groups for addicts plus they train Helpers.


Addictive Behavior = Compulsions + Dependency 
Compulsions arise to quell inner guilt and shame. If we add to the addict's guilt and shame
we can do damage. 

Dependency is  the result of a desire for happiness and joy. If that comes froms ex and 
drugs we need to offer better feelings of spiritual joy to replace
the momentary feelings from bad behavior. 

Prayer and meditation can raise good feelings and reduce the need to false highs. 

Never, ever, suggest that a person cannot change. 

Never be Pessimistic. Always promote Faith, Hope, and Love.


The best interventions is a combination of 
Inner healing prayers and Power Christian Thinking. Many sex addicts were brought to recovery with that combination plus worship at College Hill Church. 

Ministers: Do not preach against drugs, porn, sex, alcohol, etc. 

It can make the problem worse by increasing guilt and shame. Preach 

Healthy behavior and resting in Christ. Preach answers not failures

and problems. 

Get my Power Christian Thinking Book for use yourself.

Did Harvey Weinstein Commit Sins?

It seems pretty clear right now that Harvey Weinstein has committed a lot of bad acts in his adult life. Many of the things he was doing seem clearly illegal. They were certainly odious socially and contrary to the social consciousness of modern Americans. What in the world led Harvey and others to engage in such acts?

Mr. Weinstein was a free thinker when it came to meeting with and having sex with women who were not his wife. As a friend about the same age as Weinstein recently told me, "I do not know a single man that did not have multiple sex partners before marriage!" 

Since Hugh Hefner made Free Sex an acceptable mantra with "The Playboy Philosophy" sexual pleasures, hooking up, friends with benefits, and playing around have become regular occurrences in America. Pornography is touted as a great way for couples to better enjoy themselves and "50 Shades of Gray", a book on S&M is a best seller, read mostly by females! 

It even appears that the Me Too Movement is trying to take us back into a Victorian Age. Now some women are accusing men of sexual abuse because they hugged them too long or were bad sex partners. Other men are attacked because of sexual acts that happened 20 years ago when they were praised and celebrated as exciting. Is there no "Statute of Limitations" on consensual and even paid sexual relationships? 

Christians are torn by all these contradictory activities. We despise the "Playboy Philosophy" and yet we also believe in forgiveness, redemption, and mercy. How do we deal with such immorality? 

See my book Breaking Free for guidance on these tough matters. 

www.sweetenlife.com/store

Selling Fire and Death Insurance

I was approached by Bob Coats, an insurance salesman a short time after I started as a new teacher when my salary was very low. Bob knew I needed a second job and offered to teach m how to sell insurance for him.  He explained there were some new life insurance plans coming out which were very creative. One of the most startling policies to me was called Ordinary Whole Life. It had a Savings Benefit as well as a Death Benefit.

I can clearly remember Bob sitting in an old stuffed chair in my parent's living room explaining how buying an Ordinary Whole Life policy would actually pay my money back at retirement. I was flabbergasted, and tempted to ask him to leave the house. I found his explanation almost totally unbelievable.

Everybody knew that life insurance was  to protect your heirs when your life was over. It did not pay for retirement or vacations or houses but it gave the family cash if I died! It was a Death Benefit not a Life Benefit. Let me relate another reason or two that I found the presentation was so unbelievable.

First, I was surrounded by people that never even mentioned retirement, let alone saving for retirement. People worked until they died. The average life span was not very long so we did not consider life after work. 

Second, our religion was all about preparing us for death. Very little was ever said about living and growing in following Jesus. Every sermon, Bible study, and play was devoted to preparing for DEATH!

Third, in America, we follow the practices of the early circuit riders. They came into town, preached to sinners about "Heaven to gain and hell to shun" baptized their new converts and rode off into the sunset. My church experience was similar. Sermons and teaching was all about being saved and staring a new life but almost nothing about life after the new birth.

Insurance promoted preparation only for dying and so did our church. And probably for good reasons. Life was hard and short but heaven promised abundance and joy. I wonder if it was our theology that pushed us more than a life itself. The early church had a vigorous emphasis on equipping and discipleship and their life span was very short.

Does your church have a vigorous emphasis on growth and healing or just of repentance from rebellion and getting saved? What is the theology that supports growth and healing after salvation? Without a theology of growth, healing, and living a new life church becomes little more than a birthing station.

Go to our web page for materials for growth and healing. 
www.sweetenlife.com/store

What Privilges Should We Apologize for?

The obsessive overemphasis on Political Correctness promises to divide and destroy us as a nation if we are not careful. Recently Mark Galli, Editor of Christianity Today asked if it was wrong to rely on our privileges. He rightfully said privileges are a good thing. 

As a result I wrote him to say thanks. My note is found below.


Dear Mr. Galli:

Thanks for affirming privileges. As a kid I sang:
Count your blessings
Count them one by one
Count your blessings, and
See what God has done.
Those who have worked hard to bless our kids, churches, and the poor around us are now attacked as doing something wrong.

As a Family Therapist well acquainted with Cognitive Psychology, these attacks on privilege/blessings are falling into the current disaster of Pessimistic explanations for all adversities. As a Christian I teach and write how believers can Renew their minds Ro 12:2 and James 1 and see all trials as blessings.

We cannot allow pessimists and those who resent God’s blessings drag us down into pessimistic anxiety and depression from false guilt. Be happy!

What do you think? 

Go to our web page and learn how to increase your privileged skills.

www.sweetenlife.com

Competency and Leadership

We humans are tempted by big, shiny things. Healing, prophesy, crowds, styles of preaching, theological fads, nice buildings, a great library, seminary degrees, advanced education, erudite speech, etc. are like candy to a baby.

So, while admitting my culpability and lack of perfection, let me discuss leadership.
Two factors are crucial in a positive leader-Character and Competency. Character has two parts: Knowing and managing the inner life.

a.     Knowing my inner thoughts, feelings, values, ethics, boundaries and motivations

b.     Managing my inner life through self-motivation, self-nurturing` and self-control.

Competency has two critical aspects: The knowledge about what to do in leading and the skill to carry it out at the right time.

a.     Competency of knowledge about a group, an organization or an individual. For example, a therapist needs to have a basic knowledge about psychopathology as well as a model for interventions for that pathology.

b.     Competency in the skills to implement the intervention is quite different from the theoretical information noted above. A teacher may have great knowledge about a topic but fail in communicating that knowledge in a way that students can understand.

Exponential changes: In the world of the New Testament, the leadership challenges were quite different from those in the Old Testament. Moses led a developed community of people toward a goal. In the New Testament the goal was much more diffused. It was to take the Good News to the whole world. A small group of fanatical monotheists in a tiny place called Palestine could hardly turn the whole world upside down! But, they did. The long awaited emphasis on world evangelization had come.

The only way to accomplish that was through exponential or geometric rather than arithmetic growth. Take a piece of paper and fold it 40 times. How tall would it be? Two inches, two feet two miles? How about half way to the moon?  

This is the power of exponential growth.  This was the strategy of Jesus and it worked.

Many of us think about ways to evangelize the world or at least our city. Imagine if you won 10,000 people per week to Christ! That is 500,000 people to the Lord annually.  We all agree that such a thing would be wonderful. Billy Graham would stand up and take notice. You would be famous. However, that method is not as effective as the one outlined by Jesus.

If you could win two people to Christ and spend time to disciple them so they could win others and repeat the process every two years you would be far more successful than if you tried the other way. 

Jesus and the New Testament leaders chose the exponential process rather than the mass marketing approach to evangelism. They started small, trained well and always reproduced. That approach worked and the world was dramatically touched in a few hundred years. 

Jesus was a genius in multiplication. He had a great "strategearry". Unfortunately, we are not like Jesus. We know so much more than he. We  like to choose the big event approach rather than discipleship. We like the “rock star” approach of the Rolling Stones rather than the Solid Rock approach of the Messiah. 

 I wonder what would happen if we did it Jesus way? Probably not much. He was pretty old fashioned.  We have some books on it in the bookstore. Willing to be challenged?



Our bookstore can be found here!
www.sweetenlife.com/store

News Alert! It is a Special Day for Many

Today is Down Syndrome Day!!!!!!

WOW!

Why so special?

Because the death dealers are after kids with DS. Some 85% of all Down babies are aborted and the goal of many is to kill 100% of them.

It is happening in Europe. Yes, 100%.

Could the violence we see in our society be related to the crass and callous approach to disabled kids in abortion? I think the answer is YES!

If we don't respect life on TV, Video Games, and in the womb, why respect them in high school?

See our web page to find resources on LIFE!

Cold Hearted Grief Ministry

My husband wasn’t yet dead, so they said I was too early in the mourning.

By  Pamela Jane Bell

WSJ March 8, 2018 6:42 p.m. ET

When my husband began hospice care last spring, I decided to join a grief group. I thought it might be helpful to share stories and support with others who were facing the same heartbreak.

I googled “grief groups” and found one that met weekly at a local church. It looked as though I was just in time for the next session, so I called and spoke to the group leader.

“I’d like to join your grief group,” I said.

“I’m so sorry for your loss,” she responded sympathetically. “When did your loved one die?”

“Well, my husband hasn’t exactly died yet. He has end-stage dementia,” I explained.

There was a pause on the other end of the line.

“I’m afraid you aren’t eligible to join,” she said. “Our group is only for people whose friends or family members have actually died.”

I was so taken aback all I could manage was an inarticulate “Oh!” I hung up and sat there, stunned. I couldn’t believe it. I had been rejected by a grief group. My grief wasn’t good enough. It wasn’t genuine, authentic grief; it was Grief Lite or I Can’t Believe It’s Not Grief.

It led me to reflect on our cultural imperatives about grief:

• Grief must be fast. After the grief-group rejection, I began visiting grief websites to read about other people’s experiences. Before long I found myself spammed by grief gurus offering to accelerate my (as yet nonexistent) grief. The spammers offered courses for brighter or more ambitious grievers. Get through it in four weeks—a race to closure! There are books to help speed things up by defining the stages of grief; it is important to stick to the regimen so you don’t fall behind or flunk out.

• Grief must be regulated. The American Psychiatric Association has done this admirably through the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, which lists medical codes for insurance reimbursement. But here I ran into another problem. Although bereavement is covered, I couldn’t be classified as bereaved because my husband was still alive. To be reimbursed I needed a generic code, like 18 ICD-10-CM Z91.19, for “noncompliance of treatment”—that is if I could turn the diagnosis around and pin it on the government. After all, I was at least trying to comply.

A few months after I called the church, my husband died. Several weeks later I contacted the church grief leader.

“It’s me again,” I said (more or less). “My husband died last month.”

“I’m so sorry for your loss, dear,” she said.

“Can I join the grief group now?”

“Yes, of course! But you will need to bring a signed copy of your husband’s death certificate.”

This brings me to the last and gravest (no pun intended) grief guideline:

• Genuine, accredited grief must be accompanied by a grief diploma. 

Otherwise you’re undocumented. And that’s illegal.

Mrs. Bell writes children’s books, memoirs and essays under the pen name Pamela Jane.

Appeared in the March 9, 2018, print edition.

I received her permission to reproduce her letter to the Wall Street Journal

Go to the Sweeten Life Systems web for insights about caring instead of offering a callous bureaucracy. 

www.sweetenlife.com

Spiritual Healing and Growth: Time to Legalize Counterfeiting

Spiritual Healing and Growth: Time to Legalize Counterfeiting: May 22, 2009 By Harold Witkov Many Americans today believe certain illegal vices in our society should be decriminalized, ...

Time to Legalize Counterfeiting

May 22, 2009 By Harold Witkov

Many Americans today believe certain illegal vices in our society should be decriminalized, taxed, and regulated. The most popular of these vices include marijuana smoking, prostitution, and all forms of gambling. The proponents for decriminalization believe that the new tax revenues produced would help support schools, healthcare, and the impoverished, ease the pain of taxpayers, and reduce the deficit. They also believe that transgressions such as these will take place no matter, but, if properly regulated, would be safer for society in general. It would be a win, win situation.

Unfortunately, when it comes to lowering taxes and helping the downtrodden, the best-laid government plans seem to fall short of expectations. However, there is one vice, one small illegal indiscretion, that, if decriminalized would solve all our problems.  The United States needs to legalize the victimless crime known as counterfeiting.

Once legalized, counterfeiting would be for everyone. This could be accomplished by making Federal Reserve Note paper (complete with silk threads, watermarks, etc.) available to the public. With the correct paper, most computers with the right software would have no trouble replicating U.S. currency. If a household did not have a computer, special over- the-counter counterfeit kits could be made available, with instructions in both English and Spanish.

Once in place, universal counterfeiting would prove to be the ultimate stimulus package for the economy. Employees would always have enough money and never have to go on strike. Citizens would have no trouble paying their mortgages and never face foreclosure.  Everyone would gladly pay his or her taxes and there would be no need to have an IRS.

Free market consumerism would return with a flourish. People would purchase whatever they wanted and stores would only have to worry about having enough merchandise on hand. Stores could charge the consumer whatever they wanted and the consumer could still afford. Every shopping day would be like the day after Thanksgiving and the day before Christmas.

Once legalized, counterfeiting would still have to be regulated.  Parity and fairness would dictate that families earning over $250,000 would only be allowed to print $1, $2, $5 and $10 denominations. Families with combined incomes of less than $250,000 could print $20 and $50 bills. The unemployed could print $100 bills, and ACORN workers and UAW members would be entitled to counterfeit a new denomination, something even larger than the $100 bill (with President Obama on the front).

Universal counterfeiting could be the entitlement program that ends all other entitlement programs and sets us free. It is time to stand up and tell our legislators we want universal counterfeiting.  If they protest, "You cannot just print money," then promptly respond in kind, "Why not? It works for you."

Page Printed from: http://www.america

This would also pay for Health Care, Medicare, Medicaid, an the Military. 

Go to my web to find the REAL thing

www.sweetenlife.com

What About the Widow?

My last post about the death of Bruce and the bitterness of his wife Brenda received a lot of hits. I wonder why.

Is it because so many people identify with Brenda and want to blame the law firm and its investors?

Is it because we find the anger of Brenda badly placed?

Is it because we wonder if we are spending way to much time and energy pursuing money, power, and fame at the expense of our own well being?

Why? Write and let me know why so many found the post so interesting.

Go to Sweeten Life Systems web page and discover the ways you can add health, wealth, and wisdom to your life and the lives of others through God's word and will.
www.sweeetenlife.com/store

Obituary of a Husband by a Bitter Widow

¹⁴ Pursue peace with everyone, and holiness—without it no one will see the Lord. ¹⁵ Make sure that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no root of bitterness springs up, causing trouble and by it, defiling many.Hebrews 12

"R. BRUCE EVANICK is a shareholder with the law firm of Abbott, Simses & Kuchler. Mr. Evanick completed his undergraduate studies at the University of Notre Dame in 1971. He received his law degree from Duquesne University School of Law in 1974.

"Mr. Evanick is a member of the Louisiana (1997), Texas (2002), Mississippi (2004) and Pennsylvania (1971) bars and the Louisiana Bar Association

'Robert Bruce Evanick (always known as Bruce to those who loved him - and those who employed him and exploited his work ethic) -- died Tuesday afternoon, December 4th, 2007. A massive heart attack killed him - despite the heroic efforts of many physicians, surgeons and nurses - in a waiting area at Ochsner Hospital. He was not an inpatient there. He was there to provide company and comfort to Brenda, his wife, whom he loved and supported, in all ways, for 32 years. Her heart is broken. He died a horrendous death, on the floor of the waiting room, at Brenda's feet.

'His death should be a warning to all those who believe that they are being used by insensitive employers. He deserved better, both in life and death. Bruce had been seduced into a sedentary and high stress life style after he moved to New Orleans by the promise of "big money" from a corporate defense law firm. Essentially, his succumbing to that seduction and his devotion to duty caused his death. Of the many shareholders in the firm for which he labored, only one took the personal initiative to call Brenda to offer her personal condolences.

'Bruce's death leaves a huge void in the world. It is truly a sin and a shame that only one of his fellow shareholders were moved to personally console his widow. He loved her to his last breath and would have been deeply saddened by their cold attitude.

Bruce is survived by two siblings from whom he was estranged. The firm will be holding a Memorial Service in their office sometime on Monday, December 10, 2007. It is not known if they would welcome people from outside the firm and the firm’s prestigious client list.

Brenda will not attend.

Bruce has been cremated and his remains will be placed in an exquisite wooden box which he loved and will remain with his grieving widow'

http://obits.nola.com/NOLA/DeathNotices.asp?Page=LifeStory&PersonID=99254817

My eBook Breaking Free is a source of great release! Want to be healed? Go to Sweeten Life Systems, Inc web page
www.sweetenlife.com/store

Christianity is the only hope for order and peace.

BUDAPEST, Hungary, February 19, 2018 (LifeSiteNews) – Brushing aside any semblance of political correctness, Hungary’s Prime Minister said in his state of the nation speech on Sunday that, “Christianity is Europe's last hope.”  

Addressing his country and the world, Prime Minister Viktor Orbán warned that European nations which have encouraged migration have, “opened the way to the decline of Christian culture and the advance of Islam.”

Orbán painted an image of Western Europe being overwhelmed by the accelerating influx Muslim immigrants in recent years.  

“According to estimates, the proportion of immigrants will grow at an accelerated pace in the European countries west of us,” said Orbán. “I won't even say anything about France and Holland, but even the born Germans are being forced back from most large German cities as migrants always occupy big cities first.”

Orbán warned that as Western Europe becomes saturated with Muslim occupants, Islamists would soon seek to stream in to his country from both Western Europe as well as from Islamic nations.

“This means that the Islamic civilization, which always considers its vocation to convert Europe to what it calls the true faith, in the future will be knocking on the door of Central Europe not only from the south, but from the west, as well,” he said.

Prime Minister Orbán said his government will oppose efforts by the United Nations or the European Union to “increase migration” around the world.

In June, LifeSiteNews reported that Orbán had taken a strong stand and not backed down against outside globalist influences seeking to control his nation’s politics.

Billionaire George Soros, who famously backs many progressive initiatives around the world, locked horns with Orbán over the Central European University (CEU) he founded in 1989, which has been criticized as a funnel for anti-nationalist views.

Orbán and Soros have a history, beginning in partnership and ending in acrimony.

Orbán started public life as a crusader against communism and attended Oxford University on a Soros scholarship. Soros, who expatriated from Hungary, also funded Orbán’s political organization, the Alliance for Young Democrats.

But Orbán’s defense of conservative values has led to breaking ties with Soros, whom he now criticizes as a foreigner meddling in his country’s affairs.

After Prime Minister Orbán delivered his strongly worded state of the nation speech, a UK Daily Mail report said, “Orbán has conflated the issue of immigration with the image of Soros, 87, whose name was used in a tough anti-migrant bill sent to Parliament on Wednesday.”

The Daily Mail report continued:

Soros, for his part, compared Orbán unfavourably to both the Nazis and the Communists, saying his rule evoked dark tones from the 1930's, when Hungary was allied with Nazi Germany.

But Orbán remains committed to his policy, claiming that Soros and supporters of migration are losing the fight.

He said: “Soros has antagonised not only us but also England, President Trump and Israel too. Everywhere he wants to get migration accepted. It won't work. We are not alone and we will fight together and we will succeed.”

In addition to inviting Soros’ ire, Orbán came under fire a couple years ago from the U.S. State Department under President Obama as well as the European Parliament for purportedly discriminating against homosexuals because of Hungary’s insistence on defining marriage between a man and a woman, and that pre-born babies have rights.

Last year, Orbán also criticized liberals and encouraged citizens to give life to more children during the 11th conference of the World Congress of Families.  

Three thousand “natural family” advocates who attended the four-day conference heard Orbán in his opening address lambaste the European Union (EU) for its “relativizing liberal ideology that’s an insult to families.”

We promote Christian values and Christian healing in all our materials and training. Go to the web for ways to grow in Christ.

Building Mental Health in Churches and Schools

I recently posted a blog about the 5 different levels of mental/ emotional/ spiritual health. It has received a lot of hits. The topic is obviously of great interest to many of us if not most.

As a result of the recent killings in Florida, the debate over how to contain future killers is hot and heavy. Many suggest that we need more and better mental health counseling. That would likely include laws to control mentally unstable people from buying guns. 

I don't want mentally unstable persons to have guns. However, the ability of a professional, clinical, Counselor to diagnose such a person before they have committed a crime is fraught with legal and diagnostic challenges. For example, the family with whom Nikolas Cruz lived saw no signs of violence in his walk, talk, or actions. 

Could a therapist have done better? Maybe, but unless the young man says, "I am going to harm another person, I, as a Professional could not take his gun away. We cannot even demand that a person take his medications. The ACLU, not the NRA, has seen to that. 

It is frustrating and painful to see so many people hurt day by day in our nation and I am thinking about ways to reduce the despair that drives people to be violent.

There is a dramatic shortage of Professional Therapists toady. My own Counseling Center, Life Way in Cincinnati, does a lot of good but there is a big need for more.  

My way has been to train thousands of people in Peer Counseling so they can help people in distress get enough healing and change that they will not take out their rage on others. We have trained over 150 Mentors to support "At Risk Kids". Maybe they can minister to a kid in pain and prevent a rampage of anger and killing. 

Can you support us as we expand our ministry to "Heal the broken hearted and set the captives free". 
www.sweetenlife.com