Research on communication and influence is rather surprising. The circle graph shows the four areas of our communication influence with percentages assigned to each piece of the pie. I am leaving it blank to ask you to think about how you and I attempt to influence people.
Here are the four ways we communicate:The topic here is marriage and family life so let's apply these percentages to our interactions at home.
1. The actual words we use. How articulate we are.
2. The trust others have in what we say? Am I believable?
3. The tone of voice, the physical stature, and other non-verbal cues.
4. The actual interaction of the persons in the family.
When there is anger, personal attacks and lack of forgiveness couples get hurt and cannot stand to be around each other. The greatest cause of divorce in America is:
An inability to resolve differences; even small differences.
When we fail to agree to disagree agreeably, we tend to hurt and maim each other. How do we attack? What of these communication variables do we misuse and abuse?
What think ye? All together these data add up to 100% of our influence. What do you think has the greatest impact? The least?
My books talk about these things a lot. See Hope and Change for Humpty Dumpty for skills building.
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