Wednesday, July 21, 2010

The Power of Love at the Death of a Loved One


My Mother in Law, Hazel Guriel, just celebrated her birthday on July 2 at the Mason Christian Village where she has lived since early in 2006. Hazel was joined by her family to remember God's love and grace for the past 94 years of her life.

Today Hazel lies in a coma at MCV and is near death. She has faced death down several times in her life and we have seen her come back time after time. Here is some of that battle that I have seen first hand. It is a testimony that encourages my faith and affirms the stuff I have taught about faith, hope and love for forty years since I did a doctoral dissertation in 1975 on what "works in counseling and caring relationships".

Last Sunday morning I was scheduled to preach at The Horizon Community Church. The topic was, ironically, on the importance of Grand parenting to family life. Karen, her sister and our daughter and her daughter were in Disney World enjoying a well deserved vacation.At about 8:20 as I was getting ready to leave the house for Horizon, my telephone rang and it was a nurse at MCV. She was a dear care giver who had loved and served Hazel for four years and her voice was filled with concern as she said, "I think you need to call Karen in Florida and get over here as soon as possible."

I immediately went to MCV and saw that Hazel was in deep distress. Her breathing was labored, and halting and her skin looked very bad. I had visited her often that week and she had been about as spunky, alive and interactive as any 94 year old I knew. Now she was in very bad shape. When a person this age has any trouble it can be fatal.

Hazel continues to cling to life and has actually improved in her vital signs but remains in a coma. Over the past few days Hazel's room has seen a constant stream of resident, friends, nurses, aides and relatives coming and going with hugs, kisses, stories and prayers as well as songs and tears.

Although Hazel cannot speak, she has shown nonverbal responses to many if not most of those caring interactions. For the past forty years I have studied research about the power of caring touch and warm verbal comment to bring physical, emotional and spiritual improvements in others. For the past four days I have seen the truths of that research played out in the life of this wonderful friend.

In one example, one of the Food Managers named Tim was a real favorite of Hazel. They teased each other and hugged each other almost every time they met in the cafeteria or dining room. Haze's running joke consistently poked Tim about his girl friend and the fact that she wanted to dance at his wedding.

Tim came in to visit her Monday at the low point of her vital signs. With an oxygen count of 65-67 and blood pressure that was getting lower by the hour, Tim hugged her and joked about getting better so she could dance at his wedding. Almost immediately her levels went up with oxygen at 84-85 and BP rising.

Jeff Perkins, son of Hazels next door friends, came by and prayed, sang and chatted. Her vitals got better and she relaxed dramatically.

There is no substitute for love, hugs and prayer. Plus, it is free, easily done and there are no bad side effects. To think that pills are the answer removes from possibility the basic answers God has outlined in the Bible. Praise the Lord we who follow Christ can do all of the above.

If you want to grow in faith, hope and love go to my Sweeten Life web page and download my book, Hope and Change for Humpty Dumpty.

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