Keep Voting

I told you we are in the running for a $25,000.00 prize if we win the Cincinnati Innovates prize for being the best innovation with a new product or service. Some 190 entries have been in the contest, many for some time. My friend just informed me of the contest last week so I developed the summary, posted it and went live on Sunday. We were 190 Sunday morning.

I wrote a letter asking friends to vote for the project called Special Life Skills(TM)Series. You can also vote by clicking Because we are getting so many votes it is moving up in rank all the time. Go to the http://www.cincinnatiinnovates.com open it and go to view and vote.

Set the sort to Votes and 50 per page and count down 26 or so entries. We started last on Sunday, went to 65th or so Sunday night and yesterday at 33 and now 24. When people vote it change the ranks so you can scroll to find it on the first page of 50. The key is how you sort the entries and that was no evident to us at first.

Energetic and Influential?

 

Just look at this fice year old boy. What do you see in him that reveals something about his character, his ability to relate with others and whether he looks as though he will succeed in life or will he fail. Think of the potential in these kids if they could simply continue to unleash God's talents, joy and gifts to others.

What does it take to make a difference in the world? Wealth, an education? Power?

Does this boy have what it takes?

Respect and Disagreements

Silence can be golden!

For the past forty years or so I have been working with individuals and families who are in conflict. Some conflict is good, necessary and growth producing. Conflict comes from an inability of two or more people to deal effectively with differences. In marriage, parenting and work, there are many differences. In politics, religion and work there are major differences. So, learning how to work through differences is absolutely essential to developing healthy, up-building relationships and working cooperatively to accomplish worthy goals.

What are the skills and attitudes that enable us to deal with differences and thus with conflict. One time I was coaching a Minister on the best ways to resolve his conflicts with a long term colleague and he said: "I just wish I could have been on the staff with you and Jerry Kirk, Ron Rand and Harry Causey because it was obvious you never had any conflict."

My friend was dead wrong. Our staff of ten Ministers had lots of differences and so a lot of conflict. We had the usually differences of personality, gender, musical preferences, background, temper and theology which were fertile grounds for arguments, frustration, anger, disapproval, feelings of being treated unfairly, etc.

We had disagreements based on all those issues and more and we usually, but not always, resolved those conflicts rather well. By that I means we had heated, emotional and deep discussions that ended with better decisions, deeper relationships based on respect and loyalty to each other as a team.

What leads to successfully resolving differences and their resulting conflicts?

1. Humility and mutual respect. See others as equals.
2. Personal peace. Not allowing myself to sandbag and build up resentments, misunderstandings and feelings of being treated unfairly.
3. Respect and Empathy or deep understanding of others' ideas, feelings and personalities. This is not sympathy where we actually "feel" their feelings but understanding why the think and feel as they do without necessarily agreeing with them.
4. Letting people know you understand them whether you agree or not.
5. A warm smile, soft voice and self deprecating manner.
6. Prayer together. Those who pray together stay together.

This approach suggests that we can listen to, understand and even affirm a person with whom we disagree and yet make it clear that we do not affirm their position. I grew up hearing my dad say: "I strongly disagree with you but I will die trying to defend you right to believe it and say it."

Energy and Influence to Facilitate Change

On my other blog, Brave Heart, I posted some thoughts about whether Mr. Obama is a Muslim or a Christian. I take his profession of faith at face value and think it is important for other Christians to do the same thing. Why do I think that?

First, it is the biblical, Christian thing to do. Look at Ephesians 4.

1 As a prisoner of the Lord, I beg you to live in a way that is worthy of the people God has chosen to be his own. 2 Always be humble and gentle. Patiently put up with each other and love each other.

Humble: One of my life's songs is: "Oh Lord it's hard to be humble when you are perfect in every way." I so strongly disagree with some people that I find it extremely difficult to be humble because they seem so ripe to be attacked and made to change.

When I am not humble it seems as though I am the Spirit's prophet to change them. That is called, "Hubris or Pride" and is the opposite of humility. And, when I am not humble I am not patient. Patience in this verse comes from the Greek term makrothumia and means "Holding back my feelings of anger and revenge." This depends on humility because impatience reacts too quickly and refuses to listen, learn, examine the logs in my eyes and give God sometime to work in the heart of the person with whom I disagree.

3 Try your best to let God's Spirit keep your hearts united. Do this by living at peace. 4 All of you are part of the same body. There is only one Spirit of God, just as you were given one hope when you were chosen to be God's people. 5 We have only one Lord, one faith, and one baptism.

Unity comes from peace. This passage says that it is necessary for me to have peace in our hearts if we are to sow unity rather than division. Here is a suggestion: Rewrite this passage and place your name before try. "Gary, try your best to let God's Spirit keep your hearts united. We all are part of the same body".

6 There is one God who is the Father of all people. Not only is God above all others, but he works by using all of us, and he lives in all of us.

So, if we want to live according to the Bible and take the healing love and power of God to the people around us, we need to be "Aglow in the Spirit". We need the energy and peace of the Holy Spirit to be a positive influence in the world. Negative energy promotes negative influence and that cannot be of God. So, brother and sister, what do you need to do to become a more positive influence?

Can you say this about our President? It may stick in your throat but ask God to give you the peace and humility to do so. "Lord, I accept the fact that you are in Mr. Obama and you are using him to do your will. You are in charge of the USA and the Presidency and I am not. Thank you for your love, and grace for the President."

Win $25,000.00

With your help, Sweeten Life Systems can win $25,000.00 plus other great prizes. We need your help to win. We have kicked off a new aspect of our ministry that falls squarely within our mission of "Building a lifetime of great relationships"(R)

We received a generous grant to do an in depth research study on the concerns, stresses, insights and conflicts of families with Special Needs kids. The research interviews are completed as is our grant so we need more money to carry out the Action Steps.

We have entered a great contest sponsored by Cincinnati Innovates. One of the ways they judge an entry is by "Fan Voting". Will you be our fan? You can go to their web and vote daily for us. So, please log in and vote for our entry tight now as well as tomorrow and Tuesday, and Wednesday, etc.

After you log into Cincinnati Innovates. Sort by votes and then by 50 on each page. Scroll down about 30 places and look for Special Life Skills and read all about our project. Then, vote YES for Sweeten Life-Special Life Skills!

Disability Ministry

There is evidently a very rapid growth in the number and percentage of children and youth with specified Psychiatric Disorders. A recent study in Volume 49, Issue 7, Pages 686-698 (July 2010)

Prevalence of DSM-IV Disorder in a Representative, Healthy Birth Cohort at School Entry: Sociodemographic Risks and Social Adaptation


Approximately one in five (21.6 %) children met criteria for psychiatric disorder(s) with impairment. Sociodemographic and psychosocial correlates included persistent poverty beginning in early childhood, limited parental education, low family expressiveness, stressful life events, and violence exposure. Finally, diagnostic status was significantly associated with poorer social competence and family burden.

Conclusions

Comments by a Christian Child Psychiatrist, Dr. Grcevich said:

That approximately one in five children evidenced a psychiatric disorder with impairment during the transition to formal schooling highlights the importance of integrating psychiatric epidemiological and developmental approaches to inform conversations about school readiness and intervention planning
How will the church serve a generation of families with kids who have issues with emotions or behavior that interfere with their ability to function on a day to day basis?

Kids with “hidden disabilities” like these are gradually becoming the new normal. Check out this study in the current issue of the Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. To summarize:

22 % of U.S. children entering first grade met criteria for at least one mental disorder. Kids with autism spectrum disorders or developmental disabilities were excluded from this sample.

The most common condition experienced was Simple Phobia (9.0%). Other common conditions included ADHD (8.7%), Oppositional Defiant Disorder (8.4%), Separation Anxiety Disorder (2.1%) and Tic Disorders (1.7%).

An important point the authors of the study made was to note that the 22% figure applies only to kids who demonstrated problems that interfered significantly with their ability to function normally on a day to day basis. In lay terms, that means the child is able to learn at a level consistent with their intelligence in school, make and keep friends in an age-appropriate manner, function in an age-appropriate way as a member of their family and participate in extracurricular activities common for that community…like church.

The numbers quoted in this study from Yale are pretty consistent with data reported elsewhere. If you were to look at the kids involved with children’s programming at your church, do you think anywhere near 22% of the children being served experience one or more of these conditions? If not, let me welcome you to the new mission field down the street and around the block from your church.

It is important for many reasons Christians to be involved with people with chronic illnesses and disabilities. God calls us to minister to hurting people, it is a joy to know these people and we can offer them relief, support and healing prayer.

Most people with chronic illnesses are isolated from society. They cannot get around easily and they are tired. The need us to go to them rather than expect them to come to us. This is a challenge for many churches since the traditional approach is to get people to ATTEND church.

Think of a member of your church that would benefit from a regular visit from another member. The Stephen Ministry trains Peers to reach out in love to develop fellowship, support and prayer with home bound members. Can you or others in your church provide this kind of service to younger families as well?

Healing Care

We need God's fruit

We do not need to have special healing gifts to be in the healing ministry. I am not against the healing gifts of miracles, power encounters and dynamic up front types of ministry. I rather like them myself and wish I could do them all the time. Most of the time I get to see people healed, changed and grow through a much slower process. Being With Them!

As shown in my past posts, listening with care also brings change and healing. By patiently listening with a warm demeanor and a respectful tone the people around us will usually get better. Even bartenders have learned that lesson. They get a lot of business from lonely people who want and need a person that will patiently tune in to their ideas, concerns and feelings.

But you, dear reader, may think, "They are there because of the booze". That may be true for many people but they can drink at home more easily and less expensively. But lonely, helpless people want the touch of a human voice and ear. Just imagine what would happen if our churches would set up listening cafe's or coffee shops available each evening. This is what Jesus did as He traveled around the country. He stopped and ate with folks and chatted with them over meals and a cool drink.

When I teach in Europe and use the term "COUNSELING" my interpreters always say in German or Norwegian the same term: seelsorge. It means the care and cure of souls. The church has been the primary place people have gone for the care and cure of their souls for almost 2000 years. They have been the places people went for comfort, love, concern, compassion and prayer. We call that COUNSELING and Psychology.

A Ministry of Presence

This is possibly the most important thing any of us can provide others; not do but be! When we are Prayerfully Present, we bring the presence of God into a place as well as His primary source of love, care and healing.

Being present with another human with peace in our heart and prayer in our spirit can move mountains and touch people deeply.

Silence can be golden if done with love.