Who Equips in the Reveal Study

In the Reveal Study from Willow Creek, the authors emphasize the need to model and equip the people in the first four groups. However, they never mention, to my knowledge, any group of Equippers and how they got to be Equippers. How does that work?

This cartoon shows how many churches equip. No
wonder so many Pastors are burned out.

See Sweeten Life for other ways to do equipping.

Counseling Helps People

Almost every study about the effectiveness of Counseling shows that talk therapy helps clients get better. This fact may be surprising to many who read my blog but it will not surprise Counselors. A recent article indicates that even men with Erectile Dysfunction as a result of Prostate Surgery can be improved. That the biggest problem is not below the belt but above the nick: The Head!

Usually the people who talk about Counseling focus on the different types of interventions practiced and whether they work or not. In reality, the most important things that a good Counselor does is not talk but listen.

Go to Life Way Centers for help with your issues individually or in the family.

Christians Need Innovators and Communicators

Steve Jobs: Rest in Peace. Above all, he communicated his brilliant concepts to millions of people, brilliantly.

So much is now being said about Steve Jobs brilliance – and deservedly so. He was one of a kind. Here is the acknowledged leader and innovator in the world of computers, media, music and business – and yet on the side he built Pixar into the best animation studio in the world and became Disney’s largest stockholder. Amazing.

But what strikes me most about Steve Jobs is that he had no peer in inspiring and motivating others. Not just his employees, not just his customers, but the world. Because of his communicating ability he became a rock star. I remember when I got up at 5AM to go to Moscone Center in San Francisco to hear him announce the iPhone, and I was too late – the line was already three blocks long. Who could have ever predicted that an executive who really is just making a product announcement would be able to command such attention. Amazing.

He was unparalleled. We had him on our Top Ten Best Communicators list several times – and actually he could have been #1 every year but that would have been boring.

He was never boring. He brought us so much. He is a worthy model to emulate. He will be so missed.

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I want to add some things. Mr. Jobs surrounded himself with brilliant people. He was not afraid of working with men and women who were exceedingly smart and creative. He also trained great employees. IMO, these are keys to success in the Christian world. as well as the Commercial world.

Why Seasoned Believers Leave a Church

The Reveal Research done a few years ago by folks at the Willow Creek Community Church revealed some shocking information. Maybe the most disturbing insight that Bill Hybels had from the data was the fact that many of "his" people were not really "his". In fact, a lot of them did not think that he and the rest of the Willow Creek team was doing a very good job of training them to know and follow Jesus.

The survey they took cut the congregation into four groups. (My terms are used here)

1. Barely Believers
2. Believers in Jesus Christ
3. Committed to Jesus Christ
4. Sold out to Jesus Christ

That last group tended to be folks who had been with Wilow for an extended time and had experienced everything they had to offer but a large percentage was stuck or dissatisfied. Many planned to leave Willow for greener trees. Soon!

This shook up Bill and his staff. They saw that a lot of their people did not know the Bible or follow it if they did. In short, the Discipleship Process was sorely lacking.

One of the very predictable things they proceeded to do was market the Reveal process and sold it to several thousand other churches so they too could see how well or badly they were doing. The results indicate that a lot of other churches are also failing in training their people to follow Jesus.

I would enjoy hearing your response to this quick overview. Is this feedback from the people at Willow and other churches surprise you? Do you know of a church that is doing a good job of discipleship training? If so "WHO"?

Increase Attendance and Giving

Giving is down at many churches. Why? This survey by the Lifeway Baptist Ministry tells why. I spend a lot of time listening to Seasoned Believers-folks who have known Christ for a long time and who are now dissatisfied with their church and no longer tithe or give all of their support to the local church.

Many of my friends are upset about the churches they attend and "church hop" from one event to another to attend with kids or grand kids or friends. One of my closest friends said recently that "I feel so free now that I don't attend anywhere.

At the same time most of these people want to give their tithes and offerings to some ministry that is making a difference. They also want to be involved with a church or ministry that is "Making a difference for Jesus." In fact, many of them have started personal or family foundations and are giving large amounts to ministries they trust.

I have some advice for Pastors and Elders: "Listen to your people!!!" Many of the current church leaders are assuming they know what the people SHOULD want and need so they neglect their flock. Several congregations come to mind who spend more time, energy and money helping people in the inner city or overseas than the hurting people in the church at home.

SweetenLife just completed a yearlong research project where we spent hours developing Quality Of Life Questionnaires that people filled out with their honest answers about stresses, needs, spiritual needs and family needs. We actually asked our "Customers" what they wanted and needed!

When was the last time you heard of a church actually asking their members what would be helpful to them? Whe the very famous Willow Creek church in Chicago asked their people what they wanted and needed, they discovered to their shock that 25% of the most mature and generous were planning to leave the church.

What a shock! What would you find if you did some QOL Assessments? Would you discover why people are leaving rapidly out the back door? Would you take their input seriously?

Do you really WANT to know?

Help I am Angry with my Spouse

Although the Bible tells us to go ahead and be angry, it has a special meaning and that makes a big difference to how we live and get along. In fact, the wisdom of the Bible in is regard is amazing. I was warned about going to college and getting too much education so I thought that my studies in psychology and counseling would strongly contradict the Bible that I found so great in my newly formed Christian life. But I was wrong.

St. Paul tells us that anger is a normal, natural feeling response to frustration, pain, and other life situations. But then he goes on to say, "Be careful and do not let your bitterness seep into the deep heart and destroy your relationships." (This is my rephrase of Ephesians 4:26)

As a Family Therapist I have found that feeling angry can be appropriate and healthy but letting it turn into a bitter, judgmental attitude of revenge is dangerous and can lead to divorce. In fact, this is what happens in many if not most American divorces.

I suggest that every Christian learn how to deal with anger healthily. Prevention can save us from a lot of pain.

Counseling Couples in Distress

Couple distress continues to number among the most frequently encountered difficulties. The divorce rate in America continues to hover around 50%, with half of these divorces occurring in the first 7 years of marriage.

Rates of marital distress in presently married couples approximate 20% of couples at any time, with marital satisfaction decreasing considerably over the first decade of marriage (Bradbury, Fincham, & Beach, 2000).

As a Minister as well as a Family Therapist, I am deeply concerned about the high number of couples, Christian and non Christian who live day in and day out with emotional and spiritual distress. About 1/2 of all marriages end in divorce and 1/2 of those occur within the first seven years.

Every single Minister I know is deeply concerned about this situation and yet they do little if anything to prevent it. For decades we have known what causes most divorces and thus we can help newly weds deal with the issues through pre-marital preparation.

Thankfully, Roman Catholics have a series of pre-marital classes that each couple planning to marry must take before the knot is tied. The Vineyard Community Church here in Cincinnati also has pre-marital preparation but few others do as far as I know.

Would those of you in Ministry who do NOT prepare your couples let me know why?