Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Increase Attendance and Giving


Giving is down at many churches. Why? This survey by the Lifeway Baptist Ministry tells why. I spend a lot of time listening to Seasoned Believers-folks who have known Christ for a long time and who are now dissatisfied with their church and no longer tithe or give all of their support to the local church.

Many of my friends are upset about the churches they attend and "church hop" from one event to another to attend with kids or grand kids or friends. One of my closest friends said recently that "I feel so free now that I don't attend anywhere.

At the same time most of these people want to give their tithes and offerings to some ministry that is making a difference. They also want to be involved with a church or ministry that is "Making a difference for Jesus." In fact, many of them have started personal or family foundations and are giving large amounts to ministries they trust.

I have some advice for Pastors and Elders: "Listen to your people!!!" Many of the current church leaders are assuming they know what the people SHOULD want and need so they neglect their flock. Several congregations come to mind who spend more time, energy and money helping people in the inner city or overseas than the hurting people in the church at home.

SweetenLife just completed a yearlong research project where we spent hours developing Quality Of Life Questionnaires that people filled out with their honest answers about stresses, needs, spiritual needs and family needs. We actually asked our "Customers" what they wanted and needed!

When was the last time you heard of a church actually asking their members what would be helpful to them? Whe the very famous Willow Creek church in Chicago asked their people what they wanted and needed, they discovered to their shock that 25% of the most mature and generous were planning to leave the church.

What a shock! What would you find if you did some QOL Assessments? Would you discover why people are leaving rapidly out the back door? Would you take their input seriously?

Do you really WANT to know?

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Help I am Angry with my Spouse


Although the Bible tells us to go ahead and be angry, it has a special meaning and that makes a big difference to how we live and get along. In fact, the wisdom of the Bible in is regard is amazing. I was warned about going to college and getting too much education so I thought that my studies in psychology and counseling would strongly contradict the Bible that I found so great in my newly formed Christian life. But I was wrong.

St. Paul tells us that anger is a normal, natural feeling response to frustration, pain, and other life situations. But then he goes on to say, "Be careful and do not let your bitterness seep into the deep heart and destroy your relationships." (This is my rephrase of Ephesians 4:26)

As a Family Therapist I have found that feeling angry can be appropriate and healthy but letting it turn into a bitter, judgmental attitude of revenge is dangerous and can lead to divorce. In fact, this is what happens in many if not most American divorces.

I suggest that every Christian learn how to deal with anger healthily. Prevention can save us from a lot of pain.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Counseling Couples in Distress


Couple distress continues to number among the most frequently encountered difficulties. The divorce rate in America continues to hover around 50%, with half of these divorces occurring in the first 7 years of marriage.

Rates of marital distress in presently married couples approximate 20% of couples at any time, with marital satisfaction decreasing considerably over the first decade of marriage (Bradbury, Fincham, & Beach, 2000).

As a Minister as well as a Family Therapist, I am deeply concerned about the high number of couples, Christian and non Christian who live day in and day out with emotional and spiritual distress. About 1/2 of all marriages end in divorce and 1/2 of those occur within the first seven years.

Every single Minister I know is deeply concerned about this situation and yet they do little if anything to prevent it. For decades we have known what causes most divorces and thus we can help newly weds deal with the issues through pre-marital preparation.

Thankfully, Roman Catholics have a series of pre-marital classes that each couple planning to marry must take before the knot is tied. The Vineyard Community Church here in Cincinnati also has pre-marital preparation but few others do as far as I know.

Would those of you in Ministry who do NOT prepare your couples let me know why?

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Asset Approach to Relationships


We live in a world that loves to diagnose us. In fact, it is not usually possible to get an insurance agency to cover prevention and growth because they are focused on "Treating Illness". Sometimes when I was Coaching a couple one of them would start to tell me what is wrong with their mate by quoting Oprah or Dr. Phil.

"I saw a show last week and Dr. Phil said that people like my wife are really suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder or NPD. It is at that point I will act like I am wearing a striped shirt and blow the imaginary whistle and call him "Out of bounds for practicing Psychology without a license".

One of the reasons I left the Clinical Psychology program and entered the Counseling Program at the University of Cincinnati was its obsession with sicknesses. We all had to study big books with names like "Personality Disorders" and "Mental Illness". Every new chapter brought groans and complaints from the students who started to think they and all their friends had every disease mentioned in the book.

Because my Master's Degree was twice as long as most programs I was able to choose classes that I liked more than the sickness focus so I was able to develop a minor in small groups that was focused on growth and assets than it was weaknesses and illness. All of us certainly have weaknesses, pains and dysfunctions but we also possess gifts, talents, abilities, skills and energies that allow us to contribute to our church, work and society.

Write your strengths and talents down by using the suffix "ABLE".

I am Lovable:
I am _____
I am _____

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Why Teens Resist Help for ADHD

ATTENTION RESEARCH UPDATE - September 2011

Concerns about Stigma Undermine ADHD Treatment for Adolescents

Dear Colleague,

In the issue of Attention Research Update I review a study that examines the predictors of treatment in adolescents with ADHD. Maintaining regular ADHD treatment for teens can be a significant challenge and protests related to treatment often increase with the transition from childhood to adolescence. As this study makes clear, an important factor in these protests may be adolescents' concerns about being stigmatized and addressing these concerns may be essential in maintaining treatment continuity.

I found this to be an interesting study and I hope you enjoy today's issue.

Sincerely,

David Rabiner, Ph.D.
Associate Research Professor
Dept. of Psychology & Neuroscience
Duke University
Durham, NC 27708

P.S. Please feel free to forward this newsletter to others you know who may be interested - you'll find a "Forward to a Friend" link at the end of this message. If this has been forwarded to you, go to our web to subscribe.

** Concerns about Stigma Undermine ADHD Treatment for Adolescents **


Because ADHD frequently persists into adolescence, and continues to undermine teens' academic and social functioning, most adolescents continue to need treatment. However, as issues of self-direction and autonomy become more important for teens, resistance to treatment for ADHD - medication or otherwise - frequently intensifies and many adolescents stop treatment prematurely. This is a challenge that many parents struggle with.

It is thus important to understand the factors - particularly adolescents' perspectives on treatment - that affect the receipt of ADHD treatment during this critical developmental period. Examining this issue was the focus of a study published recently in the Journal of Adolescent Health [Bussing et al (2011). Receiving treatment for Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder: Do the perspectives of adolescents matter. Journal of Adolescent Health, 49, 7-14.]

Participants were 168 adolescents - about 50% female - and their parents recruited through a public school system in the US. These adolescents screened positive for ADHD in elementary school and were contacted 6 years later for a follow-up assessment. At follow-up, over 60% continued to meet full diagnostic criteria for ADHD and many others still had elevated levels of ADHD symptoms. The researchers were interested in how many adolescents had received ADHD treatment in the past year and the parent and child characteristics that predicted the receipt of treatment.


- Parent Perspectives -

Clinical need - Parents rated their teen on symptoms of ADHD, disruptive behavior, emotional distress and overall impairment. High levels of symptoms reflected high clinical need for treatment.

Treatment receptivity - Parents rated how receptive they were towards obtaining medication treatment or counseling for their child.

Caregiver strain - Parents rated the effect of caring for a child with emotional or behavioral problems, such as demands on time, financial strain, worry, guilt, and embarrassment. High scores reflect high levels of strain associated with caring for their child.


- Adolescent Perspectives -

Clinical need - Teens their symptoms of ADHD, disruptive behavior, emotional distress and overall impairment. High levels of symptoms reflected high clinical need for treatment.

Treatment receptivity - Teens rated how receptive they were towards obtaining medication treatment or counseling.

ADHD Stigma - This measure assessed teens' perception that being diagnosed and treated for ADHD would be stigmatizing.


Receipt of mental health services

Lifetime and past-year receipt of mental health services for each adolescent was gathered through detailed interviews with parents. This interview inquired about the receipt of services in a wide range of settings and asked about counseling services and medication treatment.


- Results -

Lifetime and past year mental health service usage

Although most adolescents, i.e, 79%, had received mental health intervention at some point in their lives, only 42% received any services in the past year. This was true even though most continued to meet full diagnostic criteria for ADHD and/or continued to struggle with symptoms.

Agreement between parent and teen perspectives

Parent and teen reports of the teen's emotional distress showed moderate agreement. However, agreement on symptoms of inattention, hyperactivity, and disruptive behavior was poor. Agreement on receptivity to treatment for ADHD was also poor.

Predictors of prior year use of mental health services

The researchers were especially interested in what predicted adolescents' receipt of mental health services during the past year. Interestingly, neither socioeconomic status or insurance coverage were significant predictors. Neither were parent ratings of their child's hyperactive and disruptive behavior.

Instead, teens who had received services were rated by parents as more inattentive, more depressed, and more impaired in their daily functioning. Treatment was also more likely when parents were more receptive to medication treatment.


What about adolescents' perspectives?

Even after taking these parental factors into account, adolescents' perspectives emerged as significant predictors of treatment receipt. Adolescents who rated themselves as more impaired and who had more positive attitudes towards medication were more likely to have been treated. The most powerful predictor, however, was concerns that ADHD was stigmatizing. Adolescents who were worried about being stigmatized for ADHD were far less likely to have received treatment in the past year than other teens.


- Summary and implications -

Results from this study indicate that many adolescents struggling with ADHD have not received any mental health services in the prior year. Especially noteworthy was that even after accounting for parents' perceptions of their child's functioning and their receptivity to medication treatment, adolescents' own attitudes were important predictors of receiving treatment.

Teens who felt they were not functioning well in their daily lives were more likely to have been treated. And, adolescents with concerns about ADHD stigma were far less likely to have received treatment during the prior year. In fact, this was the strongest predictor of all.

These findings highlight the importance of eliciting adolescents' perceptions of the need for ADHD treatment, and concerns related to treatment, during evaluation and treatment planning. In particular, health professionals should discuss concerns teens may have about being stigmatized for ADHD as these concerns can substantially undermine an adolescent's willingness to initiate or continue with indicated treatment.

These results also suggest that when a teenager refuses treatment, or protests continuing, parents should recognize that there may be more involved than their child's being oppositional, not recognizing the reality of what they require, or exercising their desire for autonomy and self-determination. While these factors may certainly be involved, an adolescent's worries about being stigmatized can be especially important and need to be understood and addressed. There is a need to develop effective interventions for addressing such concerns.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Christians Just Do It

During the time I was at Cedarville University at the conference on Ethical Issues at the End of Life and Joni and Friends' conference on developing ministries to folks with a disability, I rediscovered several key things.

1. There is a lot of compassion, concern and love among Christians for those of us who suffer. There were many different kinds of ministries and offerings at these conferences.

2. That Christians are the greatest innovators and entrepreneurs around. Many churches and lay persons are starting new programs for the elderly, the disabled and shut ins. I recently learned a new term that is being used among universities and academics: "Social Entrepreneurs". It hit me that Christians have been "Social and Spiritual Entrepreneurs" for 2000 years. However, I rarely meet a Christian Innovator or Entrepreneur that has heard that term.

3. Christians have always been on the cutting edge of education. Harvard, Yale, Brown, etc were first and foremost Christian schools with a mission to train ministers and missionaries.

4. Quality schools. The 3200 student university at Cedarville has a beautiful campus, an innovative leadership and a caring, thoughtful faculty and student body. I rarely had to open a door myself because a student would smilingly open it for me. They were warm, inviting and unfailingly good humored. And they are sharp! My book on Listening for Heaven's Sake has been translated into Russian. I had it on the display table and several students looked it over. Two of them could read the Russian title!

5. On the cutting edge of spiritual and social change. It was Christians who led the Abolitionist Movement to free slaves and to free people from Communism and terror in Europe. Now we are working to protect the unborn and the disabled.

6. The power of volunteering. All nations are held together with the glue of social interactions and Christians still lead all other groups in charitable giving, political involvement, voting, volunteering to help those in need, helping in a crisis, supporting the poor, lifting the lives of minorities, etc.

7. In healing. Jesus was The Great Physician and Christians have built hospitals, clinics, Counseling Centers, and prayer stations all over the earth.

Visit Sweeten Life web page to discover how you can support all these activities.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Watch, Listen and Learn

LIVE webcasts: Tune in for Joni and Friends Through the Roof Summit breakout sessions with Dr. Gary Sweeten, Saturday, September 17th

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effortless event broadcasting

Thanks to the innovative technology of BOXCAST, SweetenLife is able to bring you two live broadcasts from Cedarville University.

Session I: What The Parents Said To Us

Date: Saturday, September 17, 2011 at 1:30pm

Presented by Dr. Gary Sweeten

During a first of its kind, year long study, Sweeten Life Systems went beyond the surface with 12 couples who have children with special needs. The study addressed several topics including, stressful events, spiritual support needed and received, practical jobs, best practices, and barriers. In the study, parents revealed their deepest needs for support, prayer, and practical assistance.

To view this event just click the link below:


http://www.boxcast.com/show/what-the-parents-said-to-us


Session II: A Practical Vision for Supporting Parents and Caregivers

Date: Saturday, September 17, 2011 at 2:40pm

Presented by Dr. Gary Sweeten

Training to care for families using a comprehensive, holistic approach that uses The Three T's of modern life: High Touch (person to person care), High Tech (use of social media, web teachings by other parents, and video conferencing), and High Teach (a combination of seminars, best practices, and workshops on topics selected by parents). Sweeten Life Systems has completed an in-depth study of the felt needs of parents with a child who has a special need, and they are busily recruiting organizations to join in developing specific action steps to offer the support families say they want.

To view this event just click the link below:

http://www.boxcast.com/show/a-practical-vision-for-supporting-parents-and-caregivers

If the above URL does not work try copying and pasting it into your browser.

For information about how your organization or company can use this simple video streaming service contact Gordon Daily at BOXCAST.

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