Complainers, Critics and Love

Successful relationships happen when we learn how to resolve Conflicts without chronically moving beyond healthy Complaints.  

Healthy Complaints actually keep a relationship clean and growing. 

However, when out of frustration and pain we start to Criticize or show Contempt, there is danger of a permanent break in the relationship. 

Healthy Complaints use “I Statements” to share my concerns.

Example: “I do not like the way we are interacting. We do not spend enough time together, especially on fun things.”

Unhealthy Criticism uses “You Statements” to attack others’ behaviors.

Example:  “You never come home and spend time with me.”

Unhealthy Contempt uses “You Statements” to attack others’ character

Example: “You don’t care anything about being a husband and never fulfill your commitment to the kids and me.”

Conflict is inevitable but Contempt is a Choice!


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