Guilt and Shame are Gone

It is popular in some circles to urge people with feelings of guilt and shame to be transparent. To come out and share their deepest feelings of fear and angst. To flaunt their weaknesses and behaviors despite what others think or feel. But, that does not work long term for many reasons.

1. First, because it focuses primarily on outer behavior not inner ideas. The inner state of the person is the key to external behavior.

2. If the reason we refuse to share openly is due to True Moral Guilt we can receive justice for our crimes or faults. Thus, we are ration to hide rather than share.

3. If the inner reason is Shame the reason to stay quiet can be equally valid. Since Shame arises from the perception that my honesty can result in rejection by my support group, it can be unwise to be completely honest.

Thus, the cause of my silence is important. Guilt and Shame are very different.

Western Theology tends to avoid the subject of Shame and emphasizes the reality of True Moral Guilt and its antidote: Forgiveness. This leaves Shame out of the picture so people often struggle with Shame but think it is Guilt so they confess over and over but the feelings remain.

In traditional theology we have no antidote theologically for Shame, but in the Bible there is so we use the Bible rather than tradition. The Bible is clear.

Through Jesus Christ we have an eternal home and identity in the Family of God. Shame has been erased by inclusion in a new group.

Follow us and click here to support our work to clean out the swamps of guilt and shame. 

Which do you Prefer; Guilt or Shame?

                                   Shame on Christmas

For many years I have been writing and teaching about the radical difference between Guilt and Shame. Over the past few years the topic of shame has become written about and talked about very much.  ( The Healing Release of the Holy Spirit.)

Bene Brown is a wonderful speaker who became quite famous by sharing on the challenges we face when shame is a factor. Her take is very interesting from a Secular Psychological point of view.

Psychologically, Guilt Feelings are warnings that "I have done a bad thing. I have failed or sinned. 

On the other hand, Shame feelings arise when I think that I am a bad person. 

These distinctions can be helpful in Counseling and secular education. However, from a theological/spiritual point of view, they fail to get to the basic questions and thus will fail to give people ongoing peace.

From a biblical and spiritual point of view, True Moral Guilt is a legal concept based on the fact that I have violated the law. If I speed and get caught by RADAR the police will give me a ticket. That ticket says "You are Guilty!" I may not feel guilty. In fact I may FEEL angry or resentful or self pity but not GUILT. But I am guilty! The ticket will require Justice.

We who violate God's standards are Guilty. We deserve justice. Most of the people in the world that violate God's Laws do not feel guilty. They feel happy and satisfied.

Shame from a biblical view is a sense of that I have lost my Identity as a child of God and membership in His Family. That means I have also lost my Inheritance of eternal life. It is also based on facts not feelings but, like Guilt, if ignored, deep, negative feelings can  haunt us.

Support our focus on relieving people of Guilt and Shame biblically as well as psychologically. Follow us on Facebook, and Twitter. Get our materials here. 

How to Build a Ship for War

If you wanted to be an influential Christian, would you desire to:

• Witness to thousands of people about Jesus?
• Build a big congregation with many campuses and movie screens?
• Write a book?
• Preach on TV?
• Serve others?
• Disciple/equip a few people deeply?

All of these activities can be godly and impactful. However, the method taught by Jesus is to disciple/equip a few people so they can multiply themselves. Multiplication is more impactful than addition, but exponential growth is best of all.  From 30 A.D. to 300 A.D. Christian growth was phenomenal. Growth came fast and deep because it operated on the notion that every Christian was called to serve, evangelize and heal. 

Each one reaches one and each one teaches one. Christian influence grew so powerful that the Emperor of the Roman Empire was impressed. He, like all politicians, wanted to get the Christian vote, so he made Christianity the state supported religion.  Priests became politicians and bureaucrats. They were concerned about pleasing the Emperor and his henchmen whether it pleased God or not. Only a few special, carefully selected people were allowed to preach, teach, serve and evangelize. The model that Jesus taught was exponential in growing disciples. The model we inherited from Emperor Constantine is subtractive. Only a few Christians could minister.  

The Church of the Savior in Washington, D.C. taught us how to build a balanced congregation. They taught about leading people through a journey into the heart to discover God’s life in the vine.  Once the inner life was strong we can take our insights to others on a journey out in a continuous cycle.  

We wanted every one of the 2500 members of our church to become teleios: mature in Christ. Mature Christians would minister at home, neighborhood, work, and ministry. Thousands of lay and clergy are still involved in rearing multiplied generations of healthy offspring while leading churches and non-profits all over the world. 

God longs to build congregations that equip, train and coach every member to operate as a mature minister. Unfortunately, church members are as liable to divorce as atheists. Those are terrible stats if true. Terrible because we know a lot about building great relationships and God has given us the Holy Spirit and all the Fruit of love to buffer the hard paths we walk on. 

Take heart, God is alive and well.

Click here to support our building efforts. 

How to Influence Everyone

While working to finish a doctoral dissertation, I attended a workshop on "What works in counseling." The presenters correlated various theories with successful outcomes. It seems that regardless of theory, clients change when they interact with family, friends, colleagues and therapists with the "Core Conditions of Influence". 

These core behaviors closely mirror Dale Carnegie did in How to Win Friends and Influence People, one of the best selling books of all time. 

I summarized them as: 

Being Genuine: Not a fake. 

Respect: A belief that people are able and responsible. 

Empathy: Interacting with interest and accurate understanding. 

Warmth: Friendly 

 The GREW skills! 

It is the Golden Rule applied.

You can find it in Hope and Change for Humpty Dumpty on my web store in a PDF.format that can be read on any device. 

Families are Key to A Kid's Success

Families shape their children’s prospects more profoundly than anything government can do. Autumn 2014

It’s a sad and intransigent truth that poor children don’t do as well in school as kids whose parents have money. During most of American history, few jobs required more than minimal education, and that fact didn’t cause much hand-wringing. But about 30 years ago, manufacturing jobs began to evaporate, median incomes stalled, and the expanding knowledge economy increased the number and type of cognitive skills needed for most middle-class jobs. Suddenly, the academic performance of low-income kids mattered a great deal.

 In an age when good jobs require advanced skills, it’s only a slight exaggeration to say that education gaps are income gaps and income gaps are achievement gaps.

As dismay over economic inequality has grown, so has skepticism that culture has anything useful to tell us about how people do in school or in life. “Blaming poverty on the mysterious influence of ‘culture’ is a convenient excuse for doing nothing to address the problem,” 

Pulitzer Prize–winning columnist Eugene Robinson has written. “If we had universal pre-kindergarten that fed all children into high-quality schools, if we had affordable higher education, if we incentivized industry to invest in troubled communities—if people had options for which they were prepared—culture would take care of itself.”

But skeptics like Robinson are missing something important. No one would argue that such things as hunger, homelessness, a mother’s job loss, a father’s imprisonment, and—sometimes forgotten in this familiar list—a parental breakup have no effect on a student’s ability to learn in school. 

It’s equally foolish to suggest that culture—the habits, meanings, and aspirations that parents bring to child-rearing—has no effect. America, with its diverse population, has had more than a century to learn this lesson. Now, with record immigration, Europe is learning it as well.

Kids who never have or ever lose a parent are at a terrible disadvantage. So, engage parents at every possible touch point. When a parent is missing, get a church youth volunteer, club sponsor, sport coach, or big sister to come along and support the kids. 

We train mentors to support these kids. Still, it is a battle. Few will make it so get involved and make it happen.  

If you like us, support our work here. You get a tax deduction!

More Peacemaking in America

Let me briefly post something about the advancement of irenic behavior in my Cincinnati lifetime. We moved here from Illinois in 1967. The divide between denominations, races, politicians, nationalities, languages, etc was pretty high. Each group tended to stay in its own Tribal Identity.

In the Sixties and Seventies

Christians in America went through a series of very dramatic changes socially, racially, culturally, and especially spiritually. Several streams of revival came to us in profound ways. (Revivals are times when people develop new and dynamic relationships with God.)

The streams of revival included student groups, lay renewals, Billy Graham, Charismatic groups, healing movements, confessional movements, etc. As a result, there was a Fourth Great Awakening. Revivals bring new spiritual life and awakenings bring new social and relational life.

Thus, barriers were brought down between groups previously divided. Our house church groups had former Baptists, Episcopalians, Presbyterians, Church of Christ, Roman Catholics, Blacks, Whites, Appalachians, Holiness, Jews, etc involved. We had former and current clergy, professors, missionaries, nuns, women, men, and students.

This was in 1970. The combination of Revival and Awakening is the usual way God works. First, get our hearts changed with God and second, with our neighbors.

The revivals and awakenings were led largely by young people. We old people were used to keep the kids focused and stable because revivals always lead to exuberance and wild claims. 

But I believe a new revival will come or is arriving through young people again. I cannot work full time and stay up all night praying in battles of spiritual warfare anymore! But the youth can so go for it!

My constant prayer during the election season was:

"Come Holy Spirit. Bring revival. Do it again!"

 You can support us here if you like revivals. If you want to fight, don't bother.

Churches that Impact the World

Most of our materials were developed after God called us to implement Ephesians 4;11- 6. It tells God's leaders to " Equip God’s people to be priests and ministers to each other

In other words, every church needs to be an Educational Center. Every church is supposed to became an equipping center that builds loving relationships with God, self and others. That means we are to focus on helping people discover their gifts, call and ministry and then learn how to carry them out as God's Spirit leads..

The term equip in Greek is Katartismos. It has several possible meanings, all of which point to growing into maturity.  

My Swedish friends say in that language it is used to mean ‘to outfit a Viking ship of war.’ The image of various officers recruiting and establishing a ship that is on a long voyage into hostile territory is an apt image for the churches of Christ.

The Officers are Elders who must think long term about the health and welfare of the ship's crew. Sailing vessels travelled for months and even years so they had to plan for every contingency for a long, dangerous journey.  They had to select and train gunners, food servers, carpenters, doctors, sail makers, navigators, and so forth.  People became sick, wounded, and sometimes rebellious. The officers had to discipline the crew and be a leader.  It was warfare, which meant every crewmember had to be well equipped and cross-trained. (Captain and Commander, 20th Century Fox, 2003 is a view of the requirements of leadership.)

We believe that equipping means that leaders are to:

• Master a curriculum that covers the basics of sailing and going to war.
• Mend the broken hearted
• Mobilize Christians for service, caring, sharing, and loving ministry
• Master the Bible and spiritual teaching
• Ministry Skills that promote the mission they are on. 

Equipping God's ships are still required to equip the crew to operate all of the ship's mechanisms and organizational structures.  It is the entire crew, not just the officers, that do 99% of the work on the ship. 


If you are interested in equipping, see our stuff and download one of our eBooks dressed up on a PDF file that you can download and give to your friends and be a hero.