Anxiety, Depression and Stinking Thinking

In yesterday's post I mentioned the ABCD of Emotions. I know there are emotional words like

Mad
Sad
Glad
Happy
Guilty
Ashamed
Scared

But when we are Anxious and Depressed it is usually accompanied by Stinking Thinking or a Belief System that has been a clanging False Alarm for months or years. False Alarm! What is that?

It means that whenever anything happens I don't like my Alarm Bells go off. The alarm sends signals of gloom and doom into my soul because of the old habits of Stinking Thinking up in my brain. It is like a False Alarm going off in a car next door when we want to sleep. Nobody is trying to steal the car and the owners are in Florida for a vacation so they can't turn it off. It drives you crazy!!!

The Limbic System of the Brain is connected to the Belief System and hard wired to every nerve in our body. It sends a signal of impending danger to the mind and body that causes the Fight/Flight hormones  to fire up. Then the Brain says, "Watch Out! Catastrophe on its way."

You get fearful and start to shake. The nervous system has gone on high alert making your eyes squint to better see the enemy. The muscles get tight and you look for a club or knife.Then afterward you are exhausted. If that happens daily several times it takes a huge toll on body and soul.

The end result is BURN OUT! All because of a false alarm! 

How can we turn the alarm off or make it less sensitive to false information?

Get my book, Power Christian Thinking to find relief.

The Anxiety and Depression Epidemics Are Here

I have mentioned before that Anxiety and Depression are more frequent today than they were when my Grandparents were rearing a family. Why??? Their lives were much tougher and had many more more challenges. I don't want to speculate much on the causes and focus on the potential answers to many episodes of Anxiety and Depression.

Some of you read and took my classes in Rational Christian Thinking over the years when I was at College Hill Presbyterian. We offered classes in RCT, now called Power Christian Thinking, several times each year. (Along with Apples of Gold/Listening for Heaven's Sake). We counted up the numbers once and came to the conclusion that 3,000 to 4,000 people had been through those classes.

Why Classes rather than Personal Counseling?

1. We also offered to meet with people personally and listen with love, prayer and RCT.
2. Psycho-educative Classes are usually more effective than individual classes.  
3. Classes are Positive Activities rather than Negative Interventions. 
4. Students are active learners not passive victims. (No Stigma)
5. In classes we practice skills and changed behavior.
6. We get to see that others are struggling just as I.
7. There is group support.

Reminder: We covered the ABCD's of Emotions

A=Activating Event
B=Belief System that perceives Activation Events and Interprets them as good or bad
C=Consequential Feelings that come as a result of my Beliefs and Interpretations
D=Decisions that I make based on how I think about the Activating Events

Pain is inevitable but Misery is Optional

Get Power Christian Thinking for a full exposition and freedom from misery. It is only $4.00 right now so go download the PDF asap!You can read it on a computer, a pad, a Kindle or print it out. COOL!

Understanding Depression Chart

Depression is like the common cold of mental and emotional distress. Why? Because it is so common. Almost everybody has been down, blue, sad and grieving. Take heart, help and change are available and occurring daily in the lives of millions.

De0pression is often ANGER turned inward on ourselves! The chart yesterday shows what happens when we cannot control our anger.,  

When we are down, getting up and going for help seems overwhelming. However, millions of us have been able to do it so why not give it a try?

Our book, Power Christian Thinking can be a great source of encouragement.

Anger Quiz about my Stage of Conflict Intensity

Why is it so easy to attack others? Why do I so enjoy attacking people with whom I disagree?

I recently met with a fine, well educated, Christian guy who, in a burst of honesty and humility said something like, "I often feel like I really want to slap some of these Christians. (Pause) And, I find it really easy to condemn those rigid Pharisees on Facebook. (Laughter) Then it hits me that I too  am a rigid Pharisee! (Shakes head!)

Are you ever tempted to attack other people on Facebook? Do you think of a lot of really smart aleck ways to humble or humiliate those stupid people who voted for _________ ? Or the Calvinists who really irritate you with those Five Points? I don't blame you. So do I!

I usually resist the temptation to "Pin their ears back and make them see the light." Those judgmental ________ really need to preach the gospel and stop being so mean. They are%^$#@%%%^ for not being as gracious and merciful as I"

Uh Oh!

Here is a little quiz I came up with to see how angry we are. During an argument with a member of my family do I respond with? 1. Contentment? 2. Complaining? 3. Criticism? or 4. Contempt? 

Level of Interpersonal Interaction	Resulting Personal State
1.  Contented:  At peace with others	1.  Relaxed.  Thinking and feeling calm Male heart rate:  72  Female: 80
You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.  But I tell you that	Jesus brings a new teaching about caring in addition to physical relationships. This is critically important in family life.
2. Complaint:  A specific behavioral statement.  "I" statements (I want, I think, I don't like. Some anger	2.  Slight anxiety & fear.  Increased heart rate- BPM & breathing muscles tense. Minor Fight/Flight
…anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. (Attack or Attend?)	Be careful about  anger, bitterness and rage. It is not always a sin but it must be handled carefully. Judge ourselves or we shall be judged
3.  Criticism:  A vague blaming. "You" statements.  Focus on person not behavior.  A flaw in person.  Global statements.  Somewhat attacking.	3. Raised anxiety, fear, blood pressure; increased BPM& breathing; muscles tighten, eyes dilate, reduced digestion, elevated blood sugar, etc.       Increase in Flight/Fight
Anyone who says to his brother, 'Raca’, is answerable to the Sanhedrin.	Raca is calling a brother or sister “stupid” or a failure. (*Note Bitter Root below)
4.  Contempt:  Personal insult, shame mocking attacks on the character sense of self, and identity.  Opposite of admiration, no respect.	4.  High anxiety and stress. Feel heart beat. Shallow breathing fight/flight response         hyper vigilant, brain freezes Reactive
One who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the hell fire. Mt 5:21-22	Character attacks cause severe emotional wounds.
5.  Consuming defenses:  Immediately reject all communication.  All-out Attack	5.  Severe emotional & physical anxiety. Can’t think. Feelings rule. Fight/Flight.  Shake and Tremble
6.  Crushing physical response. Acts out by withdrawal or aggressively pursuing the other. Cycle of Miscommunication/ misunderstanding.	6.  Emotional flooding - A chronic state of hyper vigilance and hypersensitive self-talk along with emotional pain, reactivity, bitterness, mental freezing, rage, etc.
7.     Complete Isolation: withdrawal.     a.  Problems impossible to solve          b.  Talking is useless            c. Hopeless           d.  Overwhelmed	7.  Too painful to interact with rational discourse.  Filled with constant thoughts of attack and condemnation. Must either stay away from the person or fight them with bitterness. Divorce, church splits, etc

                                                           

© Gary Sweeten, Ed. D., Sweeten Life Systems www.sweetenlife.com adapted from Hope and Change for Humpty Dumpty and from John Gottman, Ph.D. Why Marriages  Succeed or Fail, Firestone Press, 1994.

Conflict

Can conflict be good for a marriage and/or work relationship?  YES!

But are we not to love one another? That is love!

How about relationships at church? YES! Are we not to be nice to each other? NO way!


^{Matthew 5:21}

 “You have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, ‘You shall not murder’; and ‘whoever murders shall be liable to judgment.’  

²² But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgment; 

and if you insult a brother or sister, you will be liable to the council; and if you say, ‘You fool,’ you will be liable to the hell of fire.

 ²³ So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, ²⁴ leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift. ²⁵ Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are on the way to court with him, or your accuser may hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you will be thrown into prison. ²⁶ Truly I tell you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.

Want to learn more about making peace? Get Hope and Change for Humpty Dumpty

My Peace I Give You (For Lent)

 

Rest in Jesus

Why are so many Christians living in fear, anxiety, sadness and despair?Perhaps because they have never learned to rest in Christ. In John the Lord Jesus stated to His followers that they were powerless to perform unless they stayed deeply involved in His life. "I am the vine and you are the branches." That seems pretty clear but I keep hearing people say they have "failed to perform" but rarely do they say, "I am abiding in the vine so much I don't have time to perform". Instead they say, "I am doing so much I don't have time to abide."

Karen and I decided at dinner that the greatest threat to Christian leaders is a compulsive need to perform, do, act, produce, make things happen, force people to change, be holy, etc.

The Original Serenity Prayer

Rev Reinhold Niebuhr

God, grant me the serenity to accept

The things I cannot change

The courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference

Living one day at a time,

Enjoying one moment at a time:

Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace:

Taking, as Jesus did,

This sinful world as it is,

Not as I would have it:

Trusting that you will make all things right

If I surrender to your will:

So that I may be reasonably happy in this life

And supremely happy with you in the next

Ways to apply this prayer? Power Christian Thinking eBook found in our store.
All our eBooks are in PDF form that can be read on a computer and/or downloaded and printed out. This book is on sale for $3.99 

A Self-Exam From Me

John Wesley initiated some far out, radical methods for bringing people to faith and then discipling them into wellness and maturity. In my last post I copied some of his questions for self reflection and small group interaction. 

Out of his Spirit led genius came numerous organizations and ministries promoting growth and change. The Methodist Churches including The Wesleyan Church, The Salvation Army, The Holiness Church, Pentecostals of all stripes, Charismatics, the Oxford Movement, the Moral Rearmament Movement, the Small Group Movements, the 12 Step Recovery Movement, Girls Brigade and Boys Brigade, and, I suppose, many more.  

My Great Grand Father and Grand Mother met the Holy Spirit at a Holiness Camp Meeting in 1893. They became radically new people and started planting churches and reaching others for God and good.

Take a look at the past post and add these points for self reflection. 

I Am I getting enough rest, sleep and time away from work?

Is the relationship with my spouse intimate in every way?

Do I have compulsive sexual/emotional thoughts about a member of the opposite sex?

Do I “lord it over anyone?

Do I show evidence of over eating, drinking or working?

Do my words, looks or behavior wound others?

Is my anger ever a problem?

Want to learn more? Breaking Free on sale now for only $3.99. Get it quickly!!!